Monday, March 31, 2008

Fear of Frogs Song

Just for Kim; my frog-hating friend who I am actually related to through my network of extended relatives. This song is for you.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Google Goes Amish

I came to my home page today (and for those of you that don't know, that would be and what should I find but the background of the screen was black (and for those of you that don't know, Google's normal color is white) but the words were all normal. Thinking it was my perpetually problematic computer, I chalked it up to Toshiba's ever failing computer system.

Until I read this...

"We've turned the lights out. Now it's your turn -- Earth Hour."

What is this? Some mad environmentalist that wants to do something about "saving the earth" so he invokes his new scheme on the rest of the world? I'm kinda thinking this guy is friends with the DST dude.

Okay, I can handle my page being black, although a black computer screen is simply one of the most annoying experiences one can have when surfing the web. I. do. not. like. black. sites. They are cheesy and classless and hard to read and hurt your eyes. But, I can handle them. If your blog is black, please know I am not directing this statement at you -- it's a free country and I support your right to have a blog that is black.

So, like I said, I can handle being black. (This is starting to sound like a racial post now but I'm not a racists, really, I'm not. I'm actually related to some black people.)

As I was saying, I read the Google Earth Hour site so that I would more fully understand the reason behind my annoying black screen. I read it more for kicks than anything else though. This had to be some bored, hilarious college kid that hacked into google's system and goofed up the template colors. Unfortunately, it was no joke. The Google Professionals (which would actually be graduated college kids) intentionally made their screen black (this was no hacker's work) but the reason they did it seemed even more senseless than a college kid's joke (pardon the slam on you college kids; I'm not slamming you, really, I'm not. I'm actually related to one of you)...

"On Saturday, March 29, 2008, Earth Hour invites people around the world to turn off their lights for one hour – from 8:00pm to 9:00pm in their local time zone. On this day, cities around the world, including Copenhagen, Chicago, Melbourne, Dubai, and Tel Aviv, will hold events to acknowledge their commitment to energy conservation."

What a great idea. Just think of the mass confusion this will cause around the world. At the same time. This is borderline Apocalypse if you ask me. Perhaps we are manually setting ourselves in the end time this very night.

--Scores of people will light open flames in their homes in order to see in the dark without using electricity. (I'm sure we'll hear a siren tonight.)

--Scads of families will leave their table top games and sit in the dark around the TV instead filling their minds with meaningless, mindless, memories.

--Moms will order carryout if they haven't made supper yet.

--Dads will resort to computers instead of reading books to their children.

--Millions will drive in the dark without headlights. (Resulting in more sirens.)

--Emergency rooms will be flooded with people suffering from STD (stubbed toe disease), Osteomyelitis, Subungual Hematoma, disorientation and overall confusion. Plus, the perilous certainty all the headlight-less vehicles will cause.

This does not sound like a good way to save the earth if you ask me.

So folks, shut your lights off just after the sun has set, grope helplessly in the dark through your blackened homes, and embrace this universal celebration called "Earth Hour."

Basically, go Amish on us. But, don't hurt yourself.

The 9,731st Thing I've Learned The Hard Way

Never get a cat. Period. Just don't. No matter how cute they look, seem, feel, act or how many mice you have or think you have, just don't get a cat. Get a stuffed animal to cuddle for you and buy a trap for the mice.

My experience has been this:

Picture a cute, cuddly, friendly, well mannered cat. A nice picture, right? Indeed she was.

Now, picture this cute cat a few months later. Got it?

Picture her walking through your basement.

Just slowly walking, normally, nothing real exciting about her gait, walking from one end to the other.

Are you picturing it?

Now, mix in some sound to your picture. Mix in the sound of a howling/pathetic/painful/cry/wail/loud blend. Got it?

Listen to the sound for week after week after week after week. Yeah, that's right. For that long. Listen to it until you have visions of manually strangling the sweet creature simply because you have become delirious.

You probably will comment now and say, "Oh, your cat is in heat." If she's in heat, honey, she is perpetually fertile.

That's our cat for you. Such a sweet thing.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Random Realities

It is interesting as a blogger to find out how some of my readers stumble on my site. I checked the referring sites that directed readers to my blog. Google (as well as other search engines) had a selection of referrals I thought was almost too much to believe. This is how people found my blog (though accidentally) through various search engines: (in bold)

What to expect after 5 years of marriage
3 kids, your 4th house, a dog, cat, guinea pig and finally a full set of China. Oh, and you haven't seen nothin' yet when it comes to love until you've been married 5 years.

The origin of daylight savings time
I'm sorry I mislead you. I really didn't know what I was talking about when I wrote that post.

Reasons to love mother-in-law
I can give several reasons why I love mine.

The origin of dst
Sounds to me like a lot of other people besides myself were thinking about this too.

Why does banana black when leave in the open?
When you figure that one out, come back and tell us how they turn into giant oozing slugs in the fridge, will ya?

Things but can do for our anniversary
Does you search engine except typos?

Chipped tooth in a child
I know. Isn't that awful? It'll wreck all her pictures until that tooth falls out. Just deal with it. Glue doesn't fix this either.

How do I leave a man after 11 yrs, marriage and 5 children?
Yeah, how could you?

Flubber assessments
Check amounts at hips and assess how much more is there now then there was 10 years ago. Write full assessment in journal and then have a coffee break. And whatever you do, don't declare out loud that your hips feel just like flubber.

What to do for my husband for our anniversary
This old song says it best... "Show him that you care... just for him,
Do the things that he likes to do,
Wear your hair... just for him...
Then hold him, and kiss him, and squeeze him, and love him, just do it and after you do, you will be his."

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Bugs And Why Not To Avoid Them

There is a pressing subject I am forced into discussing here. I have had 3 Things happen that confirm I must discuss this, or else. I am not really enthusiastic about waiting for another situation to arise to further confirm the necessity of this discussion, so I will just do it now before Thing Number Four takes place.

Okay, I hate bugs. There, now you know.

What does that have to do with this post? Everything.

Let me explain....

Thing Number One:

I was cleaning up Toby's newspaper one day (a daily chore I enjoy doing whether I want to or not) and was casually leafing through the pages. I stumbled upon (what I was sure was probably) an interesting article but then quickly slammed the next page on top of it, as if closing the door of possibilities for the contents on that page to spill out on my dining room table. You see, the page had a HUGE microscopically magnified bug head and it covered almost half the page. (I hate bugs.) It had hairy particles, defecating substance like shards and was looking right off the page with it's huge, beady bug eyes. (I really hate bugs.)

Now, I'm sure the article was all about bugs and how to avoid them and how they live with us and how we can't get ride of them and how millions of tiny bugs probably inhabit the very keyboard I am typing on and how counter tops in my kitchen are really not very clean because of these hidden bugs that stay behind even when a wash rag wipes across the counter and how being sick is confirmation that a bug is in your house and that kids are very susceptible to bugs because of their germy attraction in life, etc. I didn't want to be reminded of the inevitable. So, I threw the paper out, thankful that the giant bug was going with it.

Thing Number Two:

I thought that was the end of it. Until a kind reader sent me a clipping from the paper and sweetly mailed it to me. I was looking at that bug again. The dear reader just thought a few details about bugs would be a fun thing to blog about. (I must admit it is.)

Okay, I like my blog, I HATE bugs. So, why would I destroy something I like with something I hate? Folks, I have learned that sometimes life is like that. It's reality.

Thing Number Three:

You guessed it: my kid.

So, there you have it. When life throws you bugs, write a blog. When bugs get you down, fight back with a blog. And if you really want to learn some interesting facts about bugs (and even if you really don't want to know), read the inevitable truth. Or else.

“Bugs are an inevitable fact of life. Try to find a deeper understanding. We need them more than they need us, in a weird way..."

(Thanks to PVE for the blog inspiration! And Bug Off? Please don't!)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Defecation Dilemma

I learned something new today. I learned what it means to go From Bad To Worse. I've learned it before on different levels but never on this one. It is a lot more complicated than you think but seriously, when it happens to you, you'll know.

It had been a long day. I was sicker than a dog with the flu and with a cold and with a head ache but all my kids were fine, dandy, chipper and energetic. Okay, I need to emphasis right now that I love it when my kids are healthy--I really do-- but I do NOT appreciate the days when their energy levels are more superb than mine. And today was such a day.

Everything was actually going pretty well, I must admit. Landon had gone with Toby to work (a somewhat rarity since he's not legally big enough to be on a roof)... lunch was finished... Alex was nursing (a somewhat rarity since he is weaning himself)... I had just built a sweet little Lincoln Log homestead for Janae to play with (a somewhat rarity since I don't usually play with toys very often anymore)... Janae was happy, content and entertaining herself (a somewhat rarity since she is, well, 2)... I was peacefully browsing Facebook having just stumbled upon a photo album of a friend from my childhood... when IT happened: my nose started dripping. (remember the part about a cold?)

No Kleenex was in reach. I wasn't about to use my sleeve, or the baby's sleeve. And just across the room a sterilized, clean, white box of Kleenex sat waiting for me to reach out and grab it. But, like I said, it was across the room.

I have a very able bodied 2-year-old (remember the part about energy levels?) so I requested her to fetch me a Kleenex. I put it in 2-year-old language and she fully comprehended her mission. BUT, she dawdled. And my nose drip started getting tickly. And that box of Kleenex was so tantalizing. And she continued to meander slowly towards the object of my desire.

While emphasising "Hurry." "Run." "Go faster." "You need to do it FAST." "When I say hurry, run." "I neeeeed that Kleenex now." "You do not go slow." etc., she continued her meandering journey across the room with my much coveted upon Kleenex.

Just as she was about to hand it to me (remember the part about my nose dripping?) she calmly began to wipe a mysterious substance on my Kleenex and then IT happened. (remember the part about going from bad to worse?)

The Worse happened. Things were no longer bad anymore. They were dramatically, drastically, disgustingly, defacatingly worse.

You guessed it: it was poop. All over my precious Kleenex.

No wonder I'm sicker than a dog.

(For the record, this child of mine has very little attraction towards defecating dilemmas, thankfully. But, her brother has a whole different record, unfortunately.)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I. Don't. Get. It.

It's early in the morning. The whole house is sleeping (except for me and the dad who already left for work.) The dog isn't barking. The cat is quiet. All is peaceful.

And then it starts: the town siren. Alerting all available EMT's, Paramedics and everyone else who is within ear shot that there is an emergency. It sounds like a Pearl Harbor reenactment. Or like a tornado touched down in the town square. Or like bombs are coming. It's an eery and uncomfortable sound. And loud.

I understand pain and I have compassion for people who are in need of help. But seriously. ME listening to the siren is doing that poor soul no good -- I can't jump in my car and screech away in an effort to get to their side immediately.

And neither can my kids. Even with noise makers (a device that makes white noise which is a necessary sound barrier when you live in a small house with more people than bedrooms) inches from their heads, some of the kids still stir restlessly/wake up. That siren is loud.

The dog starts in on it too the second the siren starts to go off. Howling like a wolf howls to the moon, she's out there making as much racket as the siren.

I don't get it why they can't upgrade to pagers or some other polite form of communication. I mean, it is the twenty-first-century. Surely there are alarm systems that would be less intrusive by now.

Because, it never fails that when my children are sleeping, that siren goes off.

(Maybe that's why it goes off...?)

Hmmm, that could be. Coincidence can't happen that often, can it?

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Questions and Comments Recycled

Is the pain Jean's younger sister (PVE) or the unchanged clocks?
It is entirely the unchanged clocks! Shame on you for considering otherwise!

I'm talking (so is Oswald Chambers) about the human mistakes we make, or wrong decisions, or even the good ones. Just because it always has happened that way, doesn't mean it always will. We have to trust God, pick up our feet and go to!
I see the intent of your encouraging quote and the sweet spirit in which you share it. I also remember in one of your other comments that you mentioned you are unmarried. The best advice I can give you for when you marry is to remember that, "What the good man does is always right!"

Your sister has a Canon EOS 5D 12.8 MegaPixel, Digital SLR with an EF 100-400mm f/4.5-5.6L IS USM Telephoto Zoom Lens.... She wishes.
Reality is her camera is only a PowerShot A720 IS 6x optical zoom, 8.0 MegaPixels, purchased off of Amazon.

Thank you for your honesty. We hope you will find your heart's desire someday so you can quit coveting.

Oh yes, and about the Bible versions... :D can you guess? I'm so strongly KJV only that it would knock your socks off if you only knew... :D ;)
That was my first and only guess. :)

ahh Court, you are so short sighted.
Actually, the Opthamologist says I'm far sighted but since it's been a few (read like, 10) years since I was last tested, I should maybe go in for another exam. Especially after your abrupt diagnosis.

So why not rebel, and never change your clocks?
Because I like talking about a problem that I didn't create and pretend that I know how to fix it when I really don't. Like a politician does.

Or move to Arizona; they use common sense, like yours, and don't adjust their clocks.
I now see why a lot of elderly people move down there -- it's not the climate or the weather: it's the absence of DST! They wait until they're advanced in life to the point that they feel they must get everything in their life straightened out before it's too late. Including their time.

Haven't you ever considered all the people who get work just because of DST changing? My brother's company worked for 3 months fixing all the issues DST created for its clients. That was work for 70+ people for 3 months!
Thanks for helping me make my point: look at the money it cost the company. Knowing your brother, he could've easily made money doing something far more profitable anyway.

As a side note, evidently this DST came along after Ecclesiastes was written. I don't see changing your clocks anywhere in his list of things for which there is a time.
And that was quite a long list.

Ecclesiastes does say there is A Time for EVERYTHING under the sun.
But creating things that shouldn't be happening under the sun is not good. (read the account of creation in Genesis. The only thing close to DST that God created was the fact the He gave man freewill.)

I would occasionally take an elderly sister to visit another one who was a shut-in. The shut-in refused to change her clocks "from God's time". I think she actually thought that CST was "God's time".
We need more people like her today.

Are all your clocks in agreement now?
One word: not yet.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Origin of Daylight Savings Time

In the Daylight Savings Time therapy program I am in, we learned the following details about DST.

Whoever invented Daylight Savings Time was obviously not a mom.

They always went to be early and got 8-10 hours of sleep.

They had a consistent schedule that could easily fall back or spring ahead twice a year.

They were never at a loss for sleep.

They had extra minutes in their day.

They needed a remedy to help them remember to change their smoke alarm batteries.

They liked change and sought after it.

They probably weren't married or had much of a social life.

They lead boring lives.

And (waxing political here), they were probably The Party I wouldn't endorse if I was into politics.

They had poor money managing skills because they used the reason that Daylight "Savings" Time would use less electricity which in turn would use less money which in turn would save money. Come to find out, it has cost 8 million dollars in some state for some length of time all because of DST. (I can't remember the state or how that figure was added up and to what time frame it is slotted between but still, 8 million dollars is not "extra cash" just laying around -- even if you are rich.)

As if this wasn't all bad enough, they projected their Idea on this fair land of ours and took away one right of freedom: one whole hour.

Now we have to work faster. Lose more sleep. Increase our pace in the American Rat Race of Life.

Can anyone tell me what we are saving through Daylight SAVINGS Time?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Your Questions and Comments Recapped

So your house flooding is only mild, huh? No "big" news?
Right. You answered your question. If you have any other questions you would like to ask and then answer on my blog, feel free to do so.

Your blog should get hits off of Google news.
Yep, any day now.

I think your idea of every once in a while answering questions and commenting on the comments is a good blog post.
Glad you think so. The problem is... I can't do this unless people comment/ask a question! So........ the ball is in you's/ya'll/your (depending on your geographic location) park.

What camera does your sister use?
Um, it's gray... small -- somewhere between a Elf and Rebel (can't remember the name). It's a Canon. It has a button you push when you are ready to capture the picture. I think it has a few flash options. I don't know much about it except that it's a digital and she bought it somewhere off the Internet. I also know that when I take a picture with it, it doesn't get as fancy as it gets when she takes the picture. I honestly think the camera is partial but if you're still interested, perhaps she will take the liberty to post her camera details on this post's comment box. (hint, hint)

In reality we limit God when we say "it'll always happen this way because it always has..."
Great point and a very good thought. I would agree with that on every aspect of life except for the function of the sun rising every morning and my husband not changing the clocks. Some things are never meant to change because they are unable to change because God made then unchangeable.

Question? How do you set a sundial ahead or behind one hour?
Just like I do with all the clocks in my house that I haven't changed yet: do math. Add or subtract an hour, depending on the time of year. I have an idea that changing a sundial is as lofty an idea as expecting my husband to automatically change our clocks. So, I probably wouldn't spend too much time figuring this method out.

Just in case you think I am as organized as my youthful sister (P.V.E.) it is now Tues . afternoon and most of the clocks in this house that I might be remotely concerned with are still on winter time.
I feel your pain.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

It's That Time Already?

Yup, be sure and change your clocks folks!

Does it go like this at your house? Year after year, this is our experience.

Or so I fear since it's always been this way.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Post Number 5, Day Number 5

What an eye catching title, eh? Certainly not but it honestly says what this post is all about: 5 posts in 5 days.

My life is so uninteresting lately and has had so few blog moments in it. For instance, finding 15 pictures on my camera phone after Landon explored his photography skills with it while I was away from him for a few minutes is interesting but hardly worth blogging about. Neither is there anything worth mentioning about the morning I was nursing Alex and happened to see Janae open the hot oven door, shut it and then turn around and start digging in the knife drawer. Or how she grabbed a butcher knife because she wanted to snag a toy that was under the cupboard with it. And then having Alex perform his amazing Hoover Skills where he scoots and rolls and swims around on the floor and ingests any item that would normally be sucked into an electric vacuum. You can understand that we are saving on vacuum cleaner bags these days.

All of these details are perhaps unusual and maybe a little exciting but so unblogworthy. (is that a word?) So, I did some checking around for you this morning...

If the winter has you down and you are looking for something inspiring to do, MAKE THESE BROWNIES. You will be divinely inspired to quit any diet you are on and contemplate not starting the diet you were considering. These are worth the extra 5 or 10 lbs. you might put on and every time you see that extra roll on your hip you acquired after you consumed these brownies, you will once again savor that delicious brownie. Seriously. And this is coming from me: somebody who does not normally LIKE chocolate nor enjoys putting an extra roll on my hips.

For a lively discussion about the Quiverful Quest, check this link out. To expand your thoughts, browse this commenter's site as well. Never mind where I stand; these blogs are not mine and the writers have a right to say what they believe on their individual blogs. I'm not condoning or condemning either post; sometimes it's good to spur your perspective and provoke deep thoughts on issues that are controversial but NOT political for once, if you know what I mean.

And then there's the single girls that will probably not have a lot in common with the above link about babies and such. So, head on over here for a little insight from someone in your own shoes. You might find a kindredness in your camaraderie with the little gang of single girls there.

If you love tiny babies (and by tiny, I mean 1lb. 13oz.) and are needing to count your blessings today, hop on over here and read the journey of faith, trials and tears of this little family. They are hardly through this long battle but the joy and love that radiates in their lives is a real blessing. And is a great testimony to the miracle of life.

In order to do a little of my own thought provoking here, what version does everyone prefer for their own personal Bible devotions? Is it KJV for you? Or NIV? Or NAS? Or RSV? Or ICBV? Or NKJV? Or ASV? Or UVWXYZ???? Not to offend anyone but I have given up on the KJV for my own personal Bible time. I was tired of pretending that I knew what it was saying and realized that having a short time in my day for Bible reading was not conducive for deep thinking on matters that should be simple to understand. So, I set aside my beloved KJV for my personal Bible reading (I do love that version best for sound and the ancient lingual flare) but I had to make my Bible reading more productive. What about you? Comment anonymously if you feel the need to.

Oh, and about the brownies... they were such a good idea that Landon asked first me and then his dad, "Does God like brownies?" I think that should explain how heavenly that treat was.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

For Once I Have Nothing To Say

In a feeble attempt to blog 4 days in a row, this is an announcement to let you know that I have nothing to blog about today.

HA. I just realized that by blogging about not being able to blog today, I have actually produced a blog post today. So, my attempt was realized and I did blog 4 days in a row.

I wish I could feel this successful about my laundry...

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Facts That Until Now Were Unblogged

March 2 Was A Big Day For Landon. He turned 4, started Sunday School and shared a birthday party with 2 cousins who also share his birthday month. He even got a guitar that day.

Janae Hasn't Participated In Any Breaking News. At least for a few days now. And that in itself is worth commenting on. (Knocking really hard on wood right now...)

Alex Has His Own Room. Or, at least is the only one that sleeps in the living room. He gets a whole full corner to himself which is actually a big deal because our living room only really has 1 full corner. Best of all, he is sleeping so much better now... or should I just say that I am since I can't hear him everytime he cries or makes noise during the night.

Our Basement Will Soon Be Listed In The Guinness Book Of Records. Seriously, it has got to be the world's most challenging basement to waterproof. The Basement Professionals have been here going-on-three-times and it won't be until the middle of March before we know if the problem is fixed. I wouldn't be surprised if they just throw in the towel and give us our money back and advise us to just put a swimming pool down there.

Our Van Demanded A Replacement. If you are wondering why, I'll just say that it would take less time to tell you what was right/unbroke/safe about it than to tell you what was wrong/destroyed/damaged about it. The Lord blessed us with a perfect solution and we were glad to find just what we were looking for right away.

We Made Flubber. And I thought it was a good idea until I went out of the room to talk to Toby (I should've known better) and came back to find blue flubber all over the floor, the table, our bed, up and down and around Janae's pajamas and deep within the fibers of a few spots in the carpet. If you don't know what Flubber is, here's the recipe and a video. The kids spent *literally* hours playing with it.

Toby Is A Really Good Husband. But I bet you all knew that already? Even after 5 years of marriage, it still dawns on me during the few quiet spots in my day that I am married and live with a charming and good husband. I still can't believe it.

Last And Least I Have No Interesting News On Me. So, I guess that's all I have to say about that.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Being Real

I couldn't have said this better than my friend Hannah did...

I want my blog to be a place where I write what I’m passionate about - thoughts and people alike. What makes me laugh or cry, what grabs my soul and makes me think. A place where I share from real life, not just another collection of well-meaning spiritual rhetoric and lofty quotes of inspiration. Sometimes that can be hard to do. But I’m convinced that God’s touch is found in everything from answered prayers to eating ice cream, and much like a singer singing a song they don’t really care about, if it doesn’t mean anything to me, I certainly
can’t help it mean much to anyone else.

I love blogging. I love having a place to just be me. To say what I think without getting permission. To say what I believe. To focus on things that matter to me.

But, so often I tend to become effected by what's around me, what's screaming in my ear, what's staring me in the face that I forget the bigger picture. I forget what I am passionate about. I am so influenced by others that a comment or a conversation or a concern of theirs can produce the very actions I wish to eliminate altogether. In the end, it is not me behind my face and I hate that.

Sometimes I feel like I should shake your hand and say, Hi, my name is Courtney, you really don't know me and I'm ready to stop pretending that you do. But, I can't. That would not be appropriate. You would learn too much. You would be uncomfortable.

I am convinced that we would rather know people the way we think we know them then actually get to know them for real, sometimes. We like to feel comfortable in our assessments of folks and it can be disturbing to consider that perhaps, there is something a little deeper that the outside does not show.

Life is real for everyone of us. But many of us don't admit that in honesty. Yeah, we can say, "life is real" but to actually explain in clear facts what life means to us, we often hide those secrets.

Why? Because we are safer. Privacy, secrecy, it all keeps us feeling safe. And that's fine. There is no reason to blow your cover if you are comfortable with it. But beware of a facade. Facades do not stand the test of time. My real and your real can be shrouded by a cloud of misconceptions; you let me see your life in the light that I live mine and I let you see my life in the light of how you live yours. That is not real life though and I'm beginning to think that it's better to know the truth soon rather than late.

...if it doesn’t mean anything to me, I certainly can’t help it mean much to anyone else. That's what I love about blogging. You don't have to say it if you don't believe it. You don't have to make it mean anything to somebody else unless it truly means the world to you. And if it isn't you, if you aren't passionate about something, don't make it look like you.

Psalm 51:6

"Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom."

Monday, March 03, 2008

Answered Questions and Comments

Once again, answering your questions, replying to your comments and thanking you for giving me something to blog about today!

I presume that somewhere along the line of events you took Alex off of the couch so that he didn't fall by himself. Or is he actually capable of climbing down on his own?
I personally took him off myself that time but we think he should learn to do it by himself pretty soon if he's going to be on the couch anyway.

Do you ever wonder why 2 ancient ladies read and comment on your blog?
No, why do they?

The mystery item that A. swallowed will either digest or pass of its on accord.
Then let's hope he never finds it on the floor again.

How do you get the back ground on your blog with the pictures of your kids?
I take a picture of my kids every time I blog and hyperlink it carefully into each post. Then I shrink the pixels so that you can't tell they are actually older in the picture than they look. It takes me about 1 hour and 37 minutes to set it all up because they have to wear those same outfits every time and they're usually in the laundry. No seriously, the picture, the idea, the background, it is all copyrighted so you can't have it anyway so don't ask. But, if you must know... it's embedded in my template through the logistics of HTML. Go ask my sister how she did it.

"Do not fear for I am with, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Excellent reminder. I see now why the Bible also talks about posting the Words of the Lord on the door posts of our houses and hanging them on our children's necks: I would forget them otherwise. Thanks for "posting" that today for me to see. I needed that.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

A Time To Build And A Time To Tear Down

Ripped Off Child's Folding Table Cover!
Broken *New* CD Player Hatch!
Important Flash Drive Found In Dryer!
Chunk Of Glass Missing From Favorite China Tea Cup!
Shredded Pants Leg During Naptime!
Ink On Bedsheet During Naptime!
Mud Trails Through Private Residence!

You are probably thinking that I'm writing headlines for a horror magazine or becoming an editor for those dumb check out aisle magazines that your mom always forbade you to read since nothing in them was true anyway. Actually, it's neither. I am writing a documentation of the incidents that have taken place within the four walls of our home recently.

Tools and methods used to implement destruction:

Table cover
Quick moving, swift handled butter knives. The faster the better. Invite your sister to participate. (This happened in 2 minutes max and I was sitting just 10 feet away).

Broken CD player
Repetitious slamming of CD lid with a little added "umph." That's all I have to say about that.

Flash drive tragedy
If it fits in your pocket, then put it there; right? Of course right. She showed me how she put it in her pocket and everything. But, guess who got blamed? The Laundry Lady: because she didn't check pockets... I digress. I have to wonder just WHO would think that leaving an important Flash drive with in a toddler's reach is a good idea anyway? In case this isn't escalated bad enough in your mind, this flash drive held my father-in-law's entire computer on it. And then some. He left for Haiti the day before the missing Flash drive appeared.

Devasted China tea cup
Slam-buffet-drawer-quickly-when-you-hear-Mom-coming. China conveniently topples, falls and chips in sufficient manners. Great method because you never actually have to touch the China but it still gets the job done.

Shredded Pants
The next time boredom sets in when you are supposed to be napping, just begin picking (with your fingers) at the seam of your pants. Like you'd pick your nose. You will soon have a fancy design styled on the knee of your pants unlike any of your friends. The frayed look is in folks! Wear it generously.

Tattooed bed sheet
The next time boredom sets in when you are supposed to be napping, just find a pen. Write your thoughts on the first thing you see and get expressive.

Mud trails
Bring nature indoors! Cram mud generously in your mud boots and proceed to stamp your footprint all over the house. Not much is needed: mud is noticed more indoors than outside so a little goes a long way.

Side notes:

The CD player thankfully did not have a CD in it. That was one less thing that got wrecked that day.

Let mud dry on the carpet then vacuum. It really works. Especially when you procrastinate.

The China tea cup... sadness. I might be able to replace it.

Pants and bedsheets can be replaced.

We learned that Flash drives can actually be washed in a front load washer. And put through a dryer cycle. And still work. Through this experiment, we found that they are actually quite kid proof. Get a few for your kids to play with; it takes a lot to destroy them which is something you can't say about very many toys these days.

I can be glad: at least we all still have all our body parts and limbs intact. When most of the above happened in one day alone, I began to fear for the next moment. And for my life.

But, like my husband always says, "It'll all be fine in end; if it's not fine, then it's not the end yet."