Saturday, March 29, 2008

The 9,731st Thing I've Learned The Hard Way

Never get a cat. Period. Just don't. No matter how cute they look, seem, feel, act or how many mice you have or think you have, just don't get a cat. Get a stuffed animal to cuddle for you and buy a trap for the mice.

My experience has been this:

Picture a cute, cuddly, friendly, well mannered cat. A nice picture, right? Indeed she was.

Now, picture this cute cat a few months later. Got it?

Picture her walking through your basement.

Just slowly walking, normally, nothing real exciting about her gait, walking from one end to the other.

Are you picturing it?

Now, mix in some sound to your picture. Mix in the sound of a howling/pathetic/painful/cry/wail/loud blend. Got it?

Listen to the sound for week after week after week after week. Yeah, that's right. For that long. Listen to it until you have visions of manually strangling the sweet creature simply because you have become delirious.

You probably will comment now and say, "Oh, your cat is in heat." If she's in heat, honey, she is perpetually fertile.

That's our cat for you. Such a sweet thing.


Andrea said...

You poor thing... You should get a cat like mine! ;-) Male, neutered, no roaming, no heat...perfect! :-)

BrittLeigh said...

I apologize.

And I have reason to believe that any and all cats do not belong inside homes where people are... people like me anyway. Whether neutered, spayed, declawed, descented, devocalized... they all manage to have issues--or so I have found in my experience.

I have recently come to said-conclusion, and am therefore enduring tremendous guilt and repentance over the turmoil your home is in.