Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Landon's Graffiti

Just after I finished my last post, I was fragrantly notified of an unpleasant odor wafting down the stairs. Knowing my charming son was up there alone and knowing my charming son was up there alone being awfully quiet gave me two reasons to be worried. The smell alone gave me good reason to feel alarmed.

Not only that, but knowing my son's track record in the past of odorous and unpleasant activities when he should've been sleeping, I made a pretty straight bee line up the stairs and down the hall. What should I be greeted by but this:

I know, disgusting. It's even more disgusting to realize it was my son that did this. How unthinkable.

As I came in the room, I was greeted by a smiling boy and a robust, "Hi Mom beggee!"

I stood in the doorway rubbing my eyes and trying to stifle a scream.

"Mom's tired," the smiling boy says, noting the way I wearily rubbed my head. I screeched through the hands clenched over my mouth as I tried not to lose complete sanity.

We had a house showing scheduled in 45 minutes from this tragic episode. How was I ever going to get the smell out of the entire upstairs, I wailed inwardly.

The boy acted like it was some creative art work he designed. To think even his own body could manufacture the ingredients necessary for such unthinkable art, must've made this two year old feel somewhat accomplished.

The only thing I could think of that needed to be accomplished by this time was the cleaning of this room. And the boy.

I dunked the boy in the tub and showed him how to scrub-a-dub-dub real well while I sprayed the walls down with Fantastic spray. Yes, walls. it was more than one wall. He did a number 2 finger paint job (I think he was going for a graffiti look) in two places. He spared the carpet thankfully but got his bed quilt.

As I cleaned up the mess, I asked Britt if she thought her kids would ever do something like this. She assured me they wouldn't. After we found the second wall with "art" on it, she changed her mind and decided she would never have kids instead. To avoid instances like this, I'd say she should go with plan B. If you never have kids, they'll never smear bad things on their bedroom walls.

Just as Landon was finishing a nice clean bath, Britt got Janae out of her bed. We were greeted again by yet another odorous episode only this one stayed in the diaper. We were counting our blessings by now.

I Fantasticized the entire room and Britt blew the fan for awhile. A candle burning downstairs and room freshener scenting up the other rooms, assured the prospective buyers that this was a well taken care of house.

And why should they worry? We're taking the boy with us when we move anyway.


BrittLeigh said...

You sure we shouldn't leave him?

Owen Family said...

Ahhh...my mother has a story to tell similar to yours (only Daddy was already living in our new home several states away, patiently waiting for the house to sell)! If it's any consilation, you'll laugh about it later... :o)

Coeur d'Court said...

Yes Britt, I'm sure we shouldn't leave him. All the excitement he brings to our life would leave if he wasn't with us. How boring.

Owen family... I'm glad to hear other children have put their mothers through such atrocities! I sometimes feel quite alone when my son pulls "another one" on me. Believe me, today was not a first when it comes to "art!"

Thanks for the comments.