Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Being Real

I couldn't have said this better than my friend Hannah did...

I want my blog to be a place where I write what I’m passionate about - thoughts and people alike. What makes me laugh or cry, what grabs my soul and makes me think. A place where I share from real life, not just another collection of well-meaning spiritual rhetoric and lofty quotes of inspiration. Sometimes that can be hard to do. But I’m convinced that God’s touch is found in everything from answered prayers to eating ice cream, and much like a singer singing a song they don’t really care about, if it doesn’t mean anything to me, I certainly
can’t help it mean much to anyone else.

I love blogging. I love having a place to just be me. To say what I think without getting permission. To say what I believe. To focus on things that matter to me.

But, so often I tend to become effected by what's around me, what's screaming in my ear, what's staring me in the face that I forget the bigger picture. I forget what I am passionate about. I am so influenced by others that a comment or a conversation or a concern of theirs can produce the very actions I wish to eliminate altogether. In the end, it is not me behind my face and I hate that.

Sometimes I feel like I should shake your hand and say, Hi, my name is Courtney, you really don't know me and I'm ready to stop pretending that you do. But, I can't. That would not be appropriate. You would learn too much. You would be uncomfortable.

I am convinced that we would rather know people the way we think we know them then actually get to know them for real, sometimes. We like to feel comfortable in our assessments of folks and it can be disturbing to consider that perhaps, there is something a little deeper that the outside does not show.

Life is real for everyone of us. But many of us don't admit that in honesty. Yeah, we can say, "life is real" but to actually explain in clear facts what life means to us, we often hide those secrets.

Why? Because we are safer. Privacy, secrecy, it all keeps us feeling safe. And that's fine. There is no reason to blow your cover if you are comfortable with it. But beware of a facade. Facades do not stand the test of time. My real and your real can be shrouded by a cloud of misconceptions; you let me see your life in the light that I live mine and I let you see my life in the light of how you live yours. That is not real life though and I'm beginning to think that it's better to know the truth soon rather than late.

...if it doesn’t mean anything to me, I certainly can’t help it mean much to anyone else. That's what I love about blogging. You don't have to say it if you don't believe it. You don't have to make it mean anything to somebody else unless it truly means the world to you. And if it isn't you, if you aren't passionate about something, don't make it look like you.

Psalm 51:6

"Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom."

1 comment:

hannah michelle said...

Wow...great, thoughtful post Courtney. (And that's not just 'cause you quoted me. haha)
What you said is so true on many levels, not just blogging...you really took it to a deeper level than I'd initially thought about.

Especially "knowing people the way we think we know them". It can be disconcerting to find out other people's flaws, because it shakes your perfect little image of them...the same little image we too often protect of ourselves. At the same time we all long for honesty and freedom without a facade.

I don't think we should spill our guts to anyone and everyone - there is a time and a place - but neither should we pretend like I know I do at times - that I care when I don't or that I don't care when I do. And that starts with being honest with God first of all (which can be pretty scary too!) By His grace we can strive to be "me behind my face". :)

Boy, I think this would make a good in-person discussion sometime...