Saturday, January 27, 2007

Landon Lines

When Landon was asked to pray for breakfast one morning, his response was rather unexpected...

"I can't say the words, Mom."

"Why?" I asked him, shocked that he would turn this opportunity down.

"Because I'm too little."

Heard from the backseat while driving along a large train yard... "I just love trains so much." That was soon followed with another passionate and touching ode to yet another attraction of his, "I just love airplanes so much."

Upon hearing a belch or the sound of gas passing or even the sound of the van going over the rumble bars (the van's way of "farking"), Landon will intensely exclaim,

"GROSS! SICK!... EWWW!... That's repulsive!"

Having explained over and over to Landon that he can't go with Daddy to the jail ministry until he is "bigger," one morning, Landon happily exclaimed an amazing fact...

"I'm bigger, Mom."

"Yes, you are bigger Landon," I said in agreement.

"Now I can go to jail with daddy!" He said happily.

"Landon, Mommy has a baby in her belly that will come out and you'll get to play with it," I told him one day.

"Oh," he said, trying to sound interested.

"But it can't come out yet... not until it gets hot outside," I told him.

A couple days later, Landon looked outside and noticed the sunshine...

"Your baby can come out now Mom!"

"No, not yet Landon," I informed him.

"But, it's hot out today Mom."

Heard from the other room as Landon and his 3 yr. old friend, Joel, were discussing household items as if they had nothing better to talk about...

Landon: "Did you guys get a new couch?"
Joel: "Of course we didn't get a new couch!... but we did get a new chair though."

After both Landon and Janae behaved wonderfully at the long appointment at the midwives office the other day, I promised them a treat when we got home.

"You guys can have hot cocoa with straws!," I excitedly informed them.

"NOOOO, Mom... not hot cocoa!" appealed Landon from his car seat.

Shocked that he wouldn't want hot cocoa, I asked him why.

Thinking for a second, he sighed and said, "Hot cocoa makes me tired, Mom."

While going through the drive-through of a local coffee shop, Landon made a keen observation of the smiley, cell phone chatty, pimpled faced coffee girl as she rang up our order. Suddenly I hear from the quiet back seat, "She's cute Mom!"

I told Landon not to do something one day and his immediate response was, "Why?"

"Landon," I said reprovingly, "when Mommy tells you not to do something, don't ask why."

Proving this is becoming a habit more than a means to get information, I heard a distracted, "Why?"

After tucking Landon in one night with Curious George, I told him to shut his eyes and go to sleep.

"Mom," he said. "Tell Curious George to shut his eyes and go to sleep too."

"Curious George, shut your eyes and go to sleep!" I said to the stuffed little monkey.

Obviously considering the monkeys wide opened eyes, Landon was concerned.

"But Curious George never shuts his eyes, Mom," he said and then finished with, "Does God shut my eyes?"

While brutally kicking and stomping a pillowcase on the floor, I asked Landon what he was doing.

"I'm 'deading' this deer, Mom." He said as he continued stomping the life out of it. "See, it's dead now."

Last, but not least, I'll steal the one Britt posted on her blog...

Nearing the more successful stages of potty training, my nephew was talking to me on the phone last night. I heard his mom in the background tell him his underwear were wet.

"Landon, did you go potty in your underwear?" I asked him.

"Nope. I mean, yeah, I did." He said soberly and honestly.

Before I could respond he added, "I know Britt, it's sick." He spat the word out. "It's so repulsive!"


BrittLeigh said...

Even though I heard most of those (my goodness, it's endless!!!) I was still rolling on the floor :). What a NUT!

Coeur d'Court said...

Yes, he comes up with more everyday and has no clue how original and creative he's being when he expresses his logical, two year old perspective. You'll have to come and spend a couple days with him again, Britt. :)