With the prospect of another child in diapers due to arrive in June, we were contemplating the diaper bill, the frequent activity in our household of changing diapers and just the overall demand a child in diapers can have on a mother and father. Multiply that by three and we were ready to subtract at least one child from the mess.
We had two options.
First option was to give one of the children away. We discussed that option but we couldn't decide which one to get rid of so we scratched that idea.
Second option was when Toby came up with a profound idea: get rid of 1/3 of the diapers instead. That way, we'd only have enough diapers for 2 children and the 3rd child would have to find something else to use or somewhere else to go.
That made a lot of sense to us. Plus, we liked that idea better than giving a child away.
We noticed that since we no longer have to wear diapers, surely one of our children could at least try to quit wearing them as well. It is common knowledge to realize that we inherit so many things from our parents -- either through genetics or just watching them. So, we hoped that perhaps this was one thing we could pass down to our kids. If it's not passed through DNA, perhaps we could just set a really good example.
Not knowing where to start on this example setting, we both agreed to keep our eyes peeled and our ears open to any options.
Amazingly a few days later, we were walking through the store and what should we find but a special "chair" used for eliminating diapers. Kinda like the electric chair effect only not quite as shocking. It had good ratings and there was a picture of a child sitting on one of these chairs. The child appeared to be happy so we assumed it would be safe for our children as well. We made the purchase.
We considered it an investment in comparison to all the money on diapers it would save us. We'll probably have to record this investment in our taxes as well. The IRS is sure to notice the improvement in our budget.
After purchasing this chair, we ceremoniously set it next to our adult sized toilet. We hoped that our children would notice the similarity between the porcelain bowl and this little plastic pot.
It was hardly similar though... it played music when anything passed a certain zone in the bowl part, it had no flusher and it didn't automatically refill with water when you flushed it because like I said, there was no flusher. Plus, you couldn't play with the water in the bowl since there was none in it and it wasn't as fun to fill with toilet paper as you flushed it and watched it disappear because, as previous mentioned, there was not one trace of a flusher. Also, you could pick it up and carry it around the house, even if you were only 2. We all know that regular toilets don't provide that convenience -- a grab and go pot -- like this little chair did but we still had faith that it would somehow do the trick.
At this point, we determined which child would be required to break their steady habit of diapers. We went through a very intense evaluation of each one of our children and came up with the following results:
Child #3: We realized there was no way to connect our unborn babe to the qualities of this rare chair so we crossed that child off.
Child#2: Our darling little girl. Evaluating her personality and fine motor skills, we noted that our most wild imaginations could not fathom her leaving her diaper behind. That left us with our eldest child, the one who will forever carry on our family's name.
Child #1: Ironically, he fit the bill.
The fateful day finally came when the chair and our child were going to meet. And not just shake hands and greet each other and walk away. Rather, this poor, vulnerable little child was required to strip his beloved and warm diaper off and sit his privates on the opening of this cold little chair. Not a very friendly way to greet someone or something you've never met before.
Of course, it had to happen on the very day when my child's father abandoned me and went off to make a living. He stole away early in the morning, ensuring himself enough time to not partake in the festivities looming on the horizon of that cold, winter morning.
Arming myself that morning with determination and a dislike for the diaper bill, I bravely introduced my child to this amazing little chair. Creeping carefully and softly to the shadow of this magic throne, we went through the ceremony of purging the diaper forever from the habit of my son's life. It was quite touching, to say the least.
Miracle after miracle began to happen. Trickles and tinkles were soon heard ringing from the little chair. All throughout that blessed day, such unbelievable activity was practiced around the plastic throne. Diapers were neglected and underwear were the new fad. The chair had marvelously worked it's magic.
I think we will forever celebrate this day as a holiday for the rest of our family's history. Imagine passing something down to our children so rare and profound as potty training. Yes, January 19th will definitely be considered as sacred as a national holiday.
We are now striving as responsible parents to continue being good examples to the rest of our children and also hoping that the DNA built into our other two children -- the girl and the child yet unborn -- will carry the potty training trait in them as well. Maybe someday our house will indeed be diaper free. Imagine an entire generation holding such a strong tradition as frequent and planned trips to the porcelain bowl and full elimination of all diapers.
With the first of our prodigy successfully practicing the fine tradition, we definitely have a start on such a legacy.