Surviving The Good Life State

The other day, my hunny swung by home before heading out the door again to do an estimate.

"It's on 48th and Adams so I shouldn't be too long," were his words as he headed out the door.

I contemplated 48th and Adams. The particular roof he was estimating could be on any one of the four corners of that intersection. Even more confusing was the fact that the roof he'd be on, could be anywhere in the vicinity of 48th and Adams.

That's one thing I learned after I moved to Nebraska. Every building you go to is on an intersection. Every address is like a 48th and Adams: everybody lives on a corner.

Or so you'd think by the directions they give.

I used to imagine whole sections of a city blocks, vacant and bare of buildings. But the corners would pile high with Walmarts, Targets, Gas Stations and Starbucks.

For instance, Target is on 48th and O street and so is TJ Maxx even though they're both about a block away from each other and TJ Maxx is a good 2-3 blocks away from O street.

When people ask us where we live, we tell them, "On 19th and Superior."

The truth is, we live on 20th street and not at all on a corner. But, if you said 20th street, they wouldn't know where you lived. So, you have to lie in order to truthfully tell them where you honestly live.

If you asked anybody around here how to get to their house, they'd tell you a crossroads or intersection. But, when you'd get to their house you'd find that you probably never even saw the crossroads or intersection let alone had to drive through it to find their home. And they usually never live right at the intersection.

Another thing I learned and I hope to put into the "Moving To Nebraska Survival Guide For Dummies" is the absolute need to install a compass in your car. They really should make that as necessary as license plates.

The risk of becoming lost and stranded and possibly causing your very own death which in turn would cause grief and sadness for your loved ones because of your death but grief would also be caused by your funeral because of the hacked up funeral bills that your family would have to pay all because your vehicle was not equipped with a life saving compass, you should get a ticket for not having a compass.

I would go as far to suggest that maybe you should even wear one on your wrist like you would a watch. Believe me, it would be more worth it for you to actually sell your watch and use the money to invest into a wrist size compass because you would use the compass way more than you would ever use a watch.

Plus, many banks and other business will keep you well informed of the time and temperature as you drive around. But, no one will inform you of the direction you're going. Unless you happen to spot a weather vein on the top of a barn.

While using your compass, learn your directions. Everything is North, South, East and West. Left and right are good to know if you visit the other 47 continental states but they will do you no good around here. People don't know how to use left and right. It's like the city of Ninevah in Jonah's time -- folks can't tell their left hand from their right. It's really sad.

If you get directions to go anywhere, you would be told whether their house or building is on the North, South, West or East side of the street. NEVER left of right.

If they mentioned the garbage cans on the side of their driveway as landmark for you to use, they wouldn't merely say, "side of driveway." Instead, they would give you the exact direction from the driveway that the garbage cans stood. So, make sure your compass is working.

A few days after Toby did the estimate on 48th and Adams, we happened to drive past that location. He pointed the roof out to me and sure enough, the house was several doors down from the exact intersection of 48th and Adams.

It makes me wonder how he found the exact house due to the fact that many homes in that area needed roofs and it wasn't like there was a sign out front that read, "roof repair needed here at 48th and Adams."

My final conclusion is that the home owner probably said he was so many houses North, South, East or West of 48th and Adams. And being a loyal Nebraskan, Toby knew the exact location.