Futile and Uncertain

Last night I was laying in bed thinking about how I had NO idea what today would bring. I have no assurance of knowing that by the next time I go to bed, all my loved ones would still be healthy and alive, my house would still be standing and life as I know it would not be tragically disturbed. Yeah, I HOPE everything will stay normal and the way I like it but how do I know ahead of time that it will?

I don't.

Life is so uncertain. It's so futile. What do the things I do today amount for 50 years from now?

It makes me wonder how people do not get consumed with fears and uncertainties that tomorrow may be the worst or last day of there life. I mean, how do I know that when I sleepily kiss my husband good bye in the morning and slur something that resembles, "I love you" as he heads off to work for today, it could very well be the last time I see him?

I really don't know but I need to live in a GODLY fear that tomorrow may never come. I need to live right now as if it will be the last time I see someone, the last night I tuck my children to bed, the last time I kiss my sweetheart and the last time I wake up in a safe environment. Then, dirty socks on the floor won't bother me anymore, a restless child at night will not disturb my peace and the wails of two babies at once on each hip will not make me go crazy.

My goal is to hug, kiss and hold my dear ones more. Today could be my last.