Have you ever dreaded going to the bank? Even to deposit a check? Or cash a check? I'm not talking about having to make a payment or groan over plummeting financial amounts or check in your savings account to find a dry barrel. I'm talking about going to the bank. Period.
I dread it. Every time. Even to cash or deposit a check.
And the dread has a little something to do with that basket of candy sitting by the drive-through window that my kids covet.
Why can't it be an option to give the kids a sticker? Or a pen? Or even an unused envelope they could lick and then taste the stuff that adheres the envelope shut? Why candy? All it is is cavity-causing-hyper-reactive sweet stuff on the end of a card board stick. Or, in other words, Dum-Dums. (perfect name, by the way.)
I put off going to the bank for days, simply because I don't want to have to go through the drive through, get candy, not give it to the kids (because it's meal time/they already have 4 cavities/they'll get sticky... etc.) and then have them chew me out the whole way home because their candy is not with them.
The latest convincing conversation I had with a certain then-four-year-old (he's 5 now) was, "Mom, I can reach it!" as he strained as far as he could in his strapped in car seat at the very back of the van. He was definitely a good 17 feet away. Okay, not quite that far but it may as well have been. I strained back at him with the candy in my hand and we were still 14 feet apart.
Don't worry; I avoided swerving into the oncoming traffic but had my hand slipped a mere inch, the catastrophe the Dum-Dum would've caused would be cause for a ban on Candy Giving Bank Ladies.
This is serious stuff, people. Somebody needs to stop the impending disaster those "sweet" ladies are liable to cause. I call for a boycott on banks until the baskets of candy are put in a secure metal location with a black rubber lid on top. In other words, in the dumpster.
Maybe this would also help the economy as well since mothers wouldn't be stretched to the end of themselves because their candy craving kids are begging them for the bank candy resulting in mothers making unwise business decisions like whether or not she should let the kids have the candy while she treats herself to $4 iced caramel machiatto on the way home from the bank.
Friday, March 13, 2009
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1 comment:
Do you feel that strongly about the dum-dum issue, or is it "tongue in cheek"? Switch to Cornhusker State Bank. They will give out stickers or candy. Another possibility (I don't know whether you are open to suggestions) is to put a little sign on your dashboard "no suckers here". Another suggestion. Collect all 3, take them home, mash them and mix them and let them sprinkle them on ice cream, fruit etc.
Whatever, don't be a sucker for the dentist. They go for gold, not sugar.
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