Friday, March 30, 2007

The Carpenter's House Has No Hammers

Whoever coined the phrase, "The cobbler's children have no shoes," knew what they were talking about. It could've been the cobbler's kids themselves that said it or it could've been his loving wife. Either way, the statement is accurate.

Was it neglect on the cobbler's part to not provide shoes for his own family though he kept the town well shod? No, not mere neglect; it was just a simple shift of priorities was all.

I am not married to a cobbler but still we have the same problem at our house. Not with shoes of course. Rather, it's a scarcity of tools, nails and important handyman instruments within our abode.

Not only that, but my "honey-do" list is almost pointless. I finally threw it away when I realized that if Toby does it at work everyday, that very thing needs to be done in our house.

I'm married to a roofer. Our house needs a roof badly.

I'm married to a window retailer. Our house has several broken windows.

I'm married to a siding and soffit guy. Our house is without soffits on an entire end.

I'm married to a deck builder. Our deck is rotting through in several places.

I'm married to a real-handy-with-a-hammer guy. Our kitchen table kept losing a leg during mealtimes until I finally retired it.

Of course I know that the entire list above will be completed on a rain-less Saturday or on a book-work-less evening. I'm not too anxious; Toby always gets his work done. I just smile when I realize that he does these things everyday yet his own house sits with the same kinds of ailments his customer's houses have.

Then, one day when the kids were playing on the deck and I was trying to get some sewing done, I decided to take the hammer that I keep safely hidden in a closet and use it to construct a gate. The make-shift gate currently implemented was not very trustworthy and seemed to be attracting the kids to figure out a way through it. Plus, their toys kept rolling off between the gaps in the "gate" so I thought it was time to be more practical.

I found a gate that would work well and just needed a few nails and my secret hammer to fully construct it.

About the hammer. When we were first married, I was surprised to find that rarely was there ever a hammer in our house. If I needed to pound something in, I had to use a big spoon or a piece of wood or even a screw driver, if I was lucky to find one of those. I was surprised by this reality, considering I was married to a man who's entire livelihood was conformed around a hammer.

My sister-in-law (married to Toby's business partner and brother) told me one day that she finally had given up keeping a hammer in the house. She kept finding their hammers at job sites, in the work van or somewhere out in the work shop. She finally decided to buy a substantial ice cream scoop to use as a household hammer instead. Her husband didn't seem to take that out of the house like he had all their hammers.

But, I had a better idea.

I found a hammer and found a good place for it and explained to Toby that sometimes we need a hammer in our house. He agreed and said it was a good idea to keep one around. The hammer stayed in the house for a long time, always being put back in the same place after every use.

Then one day, Janae found the hammer and used it on Landon's head. So, we had to send the hammer to a new location in order to fully protect our growing son's cranium. The hammer continued to reside in peace and was always available in it's child-proof location.

Until the day I decided to build the gate.

The hammer was totally gone. It had completely disappeared. I assume it joined the ranks of it's fellow tools in the Nelson Contracting tool box but I still don't have the evidence to prove that. For now, I just needed a gate.

So, arming myself with a substitute tool, I tackled the gate. The results were impressive until it rained. But, at least I got my sewing done for the day and the roof didn't leak too badly from the rain storm. I wonder if masking tape would fix the roof too??


BrittLeigh said...

Oh yeah, that table leg. I still laugh at our hearty dinners that were interrupted by a loud clatter under the table, and the sighs of relief that the leg missed our toes.

Cool gate, by the way. How ingenious. A semi-disposable gate for easy storage.

Coeur d'Court said...

Disposable??? I'm insulted. :)

Orlando said...

Doesn't the Carpenter's House have any Duct Tape?!? It's also a great babysitter--I've seen grown men taped off their feet to a wall.

Coeur d'Court said...

Dad... Duck tap is too ordinary; I had to be original and go with masking tape. :)