The Tragedy Of The Lost Belt

This morning, my dear husband was busily getting ready for Church. He had selected a handsome pair of sage green slacks and a sharp white button up shirt and a white t-shirt for underneath. Black socks, black shoes and a black belt would top him off.

While I got the kids' clothes ready, I could hear him rummaging around and mumbling about his black belt. Usually it's the shoes he can't find but this morning it was the belt. He looked high and low and between each place he looked, he'd come and ask if I knew where it was. I assured him that the last place I saw it was hanging in the closet.

He'd go back to the closet and look in there again, searching the walls, floor, dark depths and the highest shelf. I noticed he never turned the light on in our bedroom so I mentioned that maybe if he shed a little light on the issue, he could see what he was looking for. He continued to grope in the closet like a blind man and never found the belt.

I mentioned checking thoroughly under the bed. He looked there.

I suggested the laundry hamper -- perhaps he threw it in still attached to the pants he last wore it with. He looked there and no luck. He even checked the baby's hamper.

I advised the towel hooks in the bathroom since his work belt was already hanging there. No luck. By now I was thinking either somebody broke in the house and took the belt or else it sprouted legs and walked out.

Finally, I went and looked in the closet where I knew it HAD to be and he walked off into another room wailing about not knowing what he was going to do. I wondered if the pants were on the verge of falling off but to me it looked like they fit well. I inwardly sympathized with him by putting myself in his pants, so to speak, and felt a sudden urge to grab my falling pants. Ugh, that's an awful feeling and to have to go to Church like that is misery.

With the light on, I groped through the closet, looked under shoes and behind a bin, double checked the hooks it normally hangs on and glanced under the hanging robes. No belt.

I admitted that I couldn't even find it as I patted him on the back that it was going to be okay and then went to finish getting ready while he got Landon up.

Shortly later, he was getting Landon dressed and I walked through the room and noticed a strip of black leather around Toby's waist.

"Hmm, so you found your belt?"

He gave me this strange look like I had lost my mind or something. Then he looked down and a light came across his face as his cheeks reddened.

"Aaaaaa...um...well...er...I guess," he sheepishly said.

"You mean to tell me all this time you were looking for your belt and you were wearing it the whole time?"

As he dashed down the stairs to breakfast he yelled over his shoulder, "You'll never know!"

He admitted it later and now I'm no longer in the dark as to why it took him 28 years to find a wife. I wouldn't be surprised if he started looking again forgetting that he already had one. Now I can see why wedding rings were invented and why some guys probably should wear them.