Thursday, May 18, 2006

Welcome to Motherhood and Diaper Shapes

Whenever I shop at one of my favorite maternity stores called, "Motherhood," I'm greeted by a smiling clerk with a friendly, "Welcome to Motherhood" when I first walk in. I smile to myself and think that if only all woman were greeted with such a greeting when the first double lines appeared on that pregnancy test, all us moms would perhaps be better prepared for this overwhelming yet blessed quest called motherhood. How life changing that positive pregnancy test is.

Especially when you see those double lines twice. Not just once but twice, as I have in the last 3 years.

I sat down at my desk today for a relaxing break with 3 cookies, popcorn and coffee. Not a real big get-a-way kind of a break, just a relaxing one. Nothing fancy. Just a relaxing break. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently so.

Meanwhile, I have a little boy doing The Diaper Shape Trot all around the 3'x3' space next to my desk while pathetically panting the "diaper shape" chant. If he would just let nature have it's way, he would be much more comfortable.

So would I. I'm still trying to relax, remember? I think it is definitely too much to ask though.

A trickle of nose secretions is making it's way down the section of skin between the nose and upper lip of my little boy and leading into his little cherub mouth so I send him to fetch a kleenex.

Upon rethinking my command, I change the plan and dash to the bathroom myself and get a wad of toilet paper. A much faster plan and a guarantee that I will indeed get the nose wiped before a tongue does the job or, better yet, my shirt sleeve when he trots past me while panting his chant.

As I came back to office (after only being "gone" for half a second), Janae is merrily teetering out of the room with my bowl of popcorn and cookies precariously tipped at a 45 degree angle. At least she left the coffee alone. I only tried to grab it as fast as I could when she let out a deafening roar and swung the bowl to the west. (In Nebraska, all directions are North, South, East and West; NEVER left or right).

Popcorn and cookies pepper the floor on the east end of the office, much to both Landon and Janae's delight.

After cleaning up the popcorn, The Diaper Shape Trot resumes and I decide that the playroom is a much more conducive and practical place for such activities. As the kids and toys mingle behind the child proof gate, I once again attempt to retrieve my relaxing blog break.

The Diaper Shape Trot and Chant can be heard throughout the house and definitely all the way to my relaxing office but I condition myself to remember that patience is having her perfect work in me as I pity the little boy who thinks life is so hard when it's time to do "the job."

I glance out the window just then and see the mother of 12 that lives down the road walk by. Alone. Unhindered. Relaxing. And pregnant. What a marvel. Here I sit with 2 children, eating popcorn with hair in it and sipping lukewarm coffee, disappointed yet somewhat relieved that my most recent pregnancy test came back negative. And there she goes so collected and calm. The mother of 12. And pregnant.

She doesn't look like what you think a mother-with-child of 12 would look like. She actually looks quite the opposite. Serene and calm and relaxed. I marvel that a mother with that many children actually gets to be alone for a whole street of city blocks and I'm fortunate to get 30 seconds alone in the bathroom.

I notice she's on a cell phone. Ah! Kids! You never can get away from them. Especially with modern day conveniences. All the way from baby monitors to cell phones. Of course, I have no idea if she was talking to her children but it dawned on me she just maybe could've been.

The Diaper Shape Chant has turned into a wail but still no reprieve. I wonder again why I was disappointed when my pregnancy test came back negative.

Why do women want children so bad?

What is so thrilling about being uncomfortable and fat for 9 months?

Why do we forget about stretchmarks? Leg cramps? Vericose veins? Sciatica? Morning sickness?

What makes childbirth so exciting? Contractions? Pushing?

Why do we never remember the sleepless nights? The fussy babies? The painful breastfeeding? The exhausting mornings? The diaper shapes?

And we turn around and do it again. And again. And again.

"The barren womb is never satisfied," comes to mind when I try to rationalize why or how I could want another baby already. As I endure the wails of my darling son who is stubbornly resisting "the urge" the negative line on my test flashes in my mind and I sigh heavily.

So much for the relaxing break I was looking for. My break came in a different way today. A glance out the window gave me a look at a mom taking a walk. It reminded me of the peace that can be found on the path I'm on. The path of motherhood.

But will today's Diaper Shape Trot ever end? Why do I wonder... welcome to Motherhood.

13 comments:

Monica said...

Mrs. Wissmann is pregnant!! I didn't know that.

BrittLeigh said...

Court... sigh... I wonder if I would take walks when I'm pregnant and have 12 kids and I knew one of my neighbors had a blog. Hmmm... Talk about no privacy! ;)

You make me literally LOL when I read your posts. I'm not sure if it's your kids or you that are riots. If it's them, I think I know where they get it from ;).

Mrs. Wissmann said...

Dear Courtney,

For my moment of relaxing today Bethany drew me to your blog. With 1/4 of it read I was laughing so hard that my husband came to see what was going on! (He really enjoyed it, too!!) It floods my mind of memories from when I had 4 little ones the oldest being 4, and then 7 with the oldest being 10!

Those precious days of going to church only to look down during the service and find my blouse buttoned crooked and stained with milk :), or checking on my little ones when I thought they were napping only to find that they had been quietly playing together in their closet & dumping together ALL the games & puzzle pieces! Now I have the joy of many older children at home to help neutralize some of the chaos as my 4-year old dumps his collection of evergreen needles into his bathwater just to see what would happen.

But I've never seen anyone put it in words like you have. Joys and anguish all wrapped in the blessing of those dear little bodies & souls. THANK YOU for the precious glimpse into your home as well as your heart, and for investing your 'relaxing' moment in our lives through your blog!

I don't know that I can fully express in words the thankfulness that I feel to the Lord for the privilege of being pregnant again.
And I joyfully echo your greeting:
"Welcome to Motherhood!"

God bless you and your household really big today!

Acts 2:17-18 said...

Wow, this is getting so exciting, just like the ole soap opera days only this is pure, clean and humerous with an adventure that ya never know what will happen next.

Courtney you are very patient and have such a good balance to your mothering. I am so glad for all the humour you can find in every day life. I wonder though if your husband does not contribute quite a bit to your attitude. He is blessed with a great personality to entertain and care for his little flock. :-) Good job to both of you!!!

We are praying for you and hope to see you all soon!

Lovingly,
mom (gramma)

Coeur d'Court said...

Dear Mrs. Wissmann, Thanks for your comment. I really really do appreciate it! Especially when I realize that you took your only relaxing break today to read my blog and then took the time to comment.

It's so nice to get a balanced perspective from a mother who's "been there, done that" and is now farther down the path of motherhood and enjoying the blessing of older children. It's so nice to know I'm not alone. :) How many times I too have had milk stained dresses at church or a 2 year old experimenting with my buttons down the front. Or an older baby nuzzling me while sitting in a room full of people. :) Being a mother is a very humbling thing yet such a self esteem booster all at the same time. To look at my children and think, Wow, that's MY son -- I can't believe God entrusted me with THIS child, is so amazing.

I figured you too would've had the same number of children as the age of your oldest child at least once in your child bearing years.:) 4 under 4 is quite a handful.

I was so happy to hear that you were expecting again. I'm sure the older your children are, the more exciting each pregnancy gets because there's more people to join in the anticipation and excitement of a pregnancy and baby. I know it was that way for me when I still lived at home and my mom would be expecting. I hope all goes well with you for the pregnancy and delivery. Praying towards that end!

God bless you as you joyfully serve Him on this path of motherhood! ~ Courtney

Coeur d'Court said...

Britt...

I never gave names, streets or hyperlinks when I talked about my neighbor walking by. And yes, if YOU were the one pregnant and with 12 kids, I would definitely blog about you. Probably everyday too. If you think I'm a riot with 2, I can't imagine how exciting it will be when you have 12 going on 13.:) Ooooo!!! I can't wait. :)

Coeur d'Court said...

Dear Mom,

Yes, Toby does influence me in a positive way when it comes to his outlook on life and humorous perspective.

Although I will beg to differ and tell you that the other day he told me that it's a proven fact that when a higher IQ person marries someone with a lower IQ, the "smarter" one doesn't have to worry about the level of his IQ going down because the "dumber" one over time rises to a higher IQ. The numbers almost somewhat equal out in some cases. He finished his insight for the day with, "So honey, you don't have to worry about my IQ level going down because yours'll be coming up pretty soon." Like I was really worried. :)

Thanks for your comment. I hope we can come up soon too. I can't wait for you guys to see Janae walk finally. :)

BrittLeigh said...

You have a long time to wait, Court! You'll be there before me... Hahaha! Now I think I know why I'm not your neighbor...

Teri from PW and OPO said...

Court

WE miss your humor over on OPO .. I am just so grateful that you choose to share yourself so openly on this blog and that you allow me share in the humor, the patience, the joys and tribluations of motherhood. I find myself reliving moments with my own children each time I rad what you write. I can even relate to the longing for another child. I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit .. or non-pursuit .. of another little one.

Coeur d'Court said...

Teri,

That's nice of you to stop by! I think every mom can relate to another mom in some way -- whether we have 2 or 12. Kids are kids everywhere!! Take care. :)

Hannah Michelle said...

Courtney...love this post! It's so candid, funny, and real. Knowing my own life could someday take such form, I sit here alone at my laptop, thankful for the silence and peace of my present state...the only thing calling my name is food heating in the microwave. LOL! I really hope we get to met someday so I can see the woman behind the words! ;-)

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