Owwieee

The formal greeting given by a particular two year I know isn't HI or HELLO or even ADIOS.

It's Owwieee.

The way you do it is hold out your right hand (for we all know that is the appropriate hand used to extend a handshake in greeting) but spread your fingers apart, pointing the thumb especially so in order to give your hand a "warped" look. While holding your hand in the air and warping your fingers, warmly say, "Owwieee."

It seems to be the magic word to break any social ice or awkwardness. It's a very handy tool to use to begin a conversation. If your vocabulary is somewhat limited, it's an especially excellent piece of conversation. If the person you are greeting is somewhat distracted by another conversation, your friendly greeting of Owwiee will immediately set them at ease to talk to you.

This works especially well if you have a ding or mark on your hand but even if you don't, folks will still come flocking to you in order to converse with you. Don't be surprised if they turn your hand over and around because for some reason, the Owwiee greeting provokes concern and curiosity towards the state of your hand when you exclaim the special greeting and warp your fingers in a special way.

When the people you are greeting are finished with the exam of your hand and assure you of something being okay or not there at all and proceed to brush you off and walk away, immediately hold the hand up and exclaim in excited tones, "OWWIEE, OWWIEE..."

It's especially effective if you put the persons name inbetween the Owwiee's because it seems to make it a bit more personal on their part. It must make them feel like you are concerned and curious about their lives as well.

Some soft hearted and tender folks may extend a kiss of charity on your hand when you continually repeat Owwiee. Accept the token of love and be sure to make them aware of other fingers, arms or cheeks that need a little peck.

It's always wise to soak up that attention as much as you can because life for a two year old can be very lonely and sad, as we all know. Even though we never have to go to a cold dark bed alone at night and we never have to eat our suppers cold and alone and we never have to walk through our dark cold houses alone at night and we never have to spend our lonely cold days pushing our trucks in the cold wet sand alone or paging through cold slippery books that have no meaning since the words are unknown to our intelligent little minds, life is still very cold and lonely as we all can testify. Don't ask me why though.

Just don't ask. I can't really think right off the top of my head why it's so hard.

Back to the topic at hand about the Owwiee greeting...

If your conversation continues to fall on deaf ears and the folks keep attempting to assure you of something being okay or not there at all, just consider their fellowship not worth your interest anyway because if people don't want to talk about Owwiee's, what else is there for a two-year-old to discuss?