Waiting

I thought once I was married, I'd be done waiting for a husband. I guess I also thought that I'd get married and settle down. Though I have been married for almost 3 years, I still haven't settled down. Both of these thoughts are not logic: they are fallacy.

I wait for the man I call my husband all the time. I wait for my life to settle down. It only seems to get busier and faster. And waiting for a husband seems to be a constant thing for this wife.

I wait for him when he has a huge book that is taking him forever to read and he spends every spare moment with his nose in it. I guess I get slightly jealous that his dark, deep eyes are peering at mere paper and not at me.

I wait for him to finish his work on the computer. I watch his strong, dark hands as they touch mere plastic (and not me) while he skillfully moves them across the keyboard with experience.

I wait for him to come home from work everyday. Right now, I'm waiting, hoping, listening to each passing vehicle longing for one to turn into the driveway and confirm that my beloved is home. But, alas. The driveway is silent.

Several minutes ago, he did come home and I thought I was done waiting. He was with an employee and got out of the truck but then simply vanished. I saw Matt (employee) leave in his vehicle parked on the other side of the house but Toby is no where. I even saw Matt drive away towards his home where his own wife is waiting but I see no Toby. I had begun to think that perhaps the rapture took place but I can honestly tell I'm still here and I know that if it had happened, I would not be here. I am tempted to go see if my babies are still in their beds napping upstairs just to make sure.

Now I hear music to my ears: a loud, diesel engine is making its way up the driveway. If my husband isn't in that, then I know I need to go check on the kids...

The door is opening and he's walking in... a sweet kiss... a glance at the day's mail... and now he's reaching for his book.

I'm still waiting for my husband.