Thursday, February 04, 2010

Random Things I Tell My Kids

"Yes, we'll still be your mom and dad when you have kids someday."

"No Alex, you may not curl your hair."

"Watch where you're peeing."

"No, you may not put your finger in my nose."

"No, I don't want you to stand on those books."

"Hey! WHAT are you pounding into the wall?"

"Stop peeling paint off the walls."

"Why do you keep calling your brother 'kid'?"

"Do you plan on tying those ropes around your neck? Because that would not be a good idea."

"Are you TRYING to break that laundry basket or is it just breaking by itself?"

"Um, no... you don't pull him down the steps in that laundry basket."

"Hey, why doesn't the 't' key on the computer work anymore?" (Landon: What's a 't'?)

"Are you TRYING to break that couch?"

"WHY is that leg off the table?" (Landon: I don't know... it just fell off.)

"Stop flipping that table over; it's not supposed to be like that."

"Isn't that like the second time he fell down the stairs in the last ten minutes?" (Landon: No, he fell down twice.)

"Do you guys plan on taking ALL the furniture apart in our house?"

"Get the oranges off the toilet."

"You don't need to eat in the bathroom; that's what the dining room table is for."

"Don't bite that chair."

"WHO broke this?!"

"Just because you can reach something, doesn't mean you can wreck it."

"Are you TRYING to break that window blind?"

"No... STOP cutting the table!"

"Wash your hands with soap AND water!"

"Watch out for that floor: it'll jump up and hit you right in the face."


Megan.Margaret said...

Lol! Favorites are definitely

Don't bite that chair.
"Watch out for that floor: it'll jump up and hit you right in the face."

I wish you could be here at college with me and share your wisdom with my friends. Seems like the floor likes to hit them in the face alot too! (Same for me, but I don't like to admit it ;)

Melissa said...

Awesome...sounds like my house, only one kid crazier (meaning that I only have two kids so far, not that your kids are extra-crazy). Some of my latest are:

"Don't lick the toilet seat."


"Don't color your belly button."

pat ve said...

I am surprised that someone hasn't commented on this before. No doubt they are spewing out wise comments and questions to their kids.
In your imagination, can you fathom God's processing of our words and actions. We know the Holy Spirit brings our requests to the Father with "groanings that cannot be uttered."
I think that it is ok to "groan" about the little daily "dailies". (I don't have a definition for that last word, just use context clues.)
I thought some of them were funny--like oranges on the toilet.

Tracey said...

This is hilarious!

Lois said...

Sounds all to familiar!!!:) Thanks for the chuckles!! Loved the last one.