Pregnancy Poem

Here I sit alone,
Unheard as I grumble and groan
Retching desires inside my belly
Jiggling like liquidated jelly

The only companion near
Is a little thing so precious and dear
Only a pencil’s lead width wide
Safely in my bosom to hide

Oh dear, how can it truly be
This little thing so tender to me
Can’t even move or try to kick
Yet makes me feel so gross and sick

They say “this too will pass”
But time sure isn’t going fast
Each day anew confirms my fears:
Another day of morning sick years

I want to eat but it can’t be so
For food to me is a sickening foe
The smell of things within my nose
Torments me even when I doze

My fate shall not end in bliss
For even my hubby’s sweetest kiss
Nauseates my starving soul
Makes me dash to the porcelain bowl

I cannot smell or eat or drink
Or wash dishes in the sink
My little kids and darling man
Are tolerating me as best they can

Alas, all this woe will end
And soon my road will take a bend
To sunnier skies and banquets galore
Eating at last will be no chore!

But until my fate ends one day
I must remember to keep at bay
The feelings of pity that keep me low
And make my life seem full of woe

For really the truth must be told:
This sickness insures a definite hold
Of my little one to the vast warm womb
And shields against miscarriage doom

So, I must, I will, I have to get glad!
This sickening belly should not be sad
For soon the end will come with labor pains
And these early days will feel like summer rains!

cjn 8-15-04 7wks. pregnant

This was composed during my 7th week of pregnancy with Janae. I originally posted this on 11-03-06 during my 7th week of pregnancy with Alex. And to keep with that tradition, I'm posting it again during my 7th week of pregnancy with Baby #4. And not just for tradition's sake either. :)

Pressure, Blogging, And How They Work Together

I blog best under pressure. Like when I'm barely sitting up while enduring the throes of morning sickness. Or suffering under the sleepless nights of a colic baby. Or chasing 3 kids, 3yrs and under. And lately, I've not experienced any of the above since I'm not pregnant, I don't have a baby with colic and I don't even own a 3-year-old anymore. Which is a good excuse for why I haven't blogged.

I'll admit that I've been under pressure in the last how-ever-many-months-it's-been-since-I-went-on-a-blogging-hiatus but not the kind of pressure that makes it easier to blog. When your mind is so mumble jumbled with, well... stuff, it's hard to think about life realistically and recognize the bright things in life.

But today, I'm getting ready for company. And my last batch of company just barely left. And I've been sick with the flu. And Toby was on the phone yesterday for FOURTEEN hours straight (9:30 am to 1:30 --- oh wait, that would be SIXTEEN hours straight) trying to fix an important business computer program that refuses to be fixed so finally he had to go to Best Buy and just up and buy another computer (yeah, just throw that on for kicks... it's "only" a computer) and I have piles of laundry, mounds of dust, a disaster zone refrigerator, a vacuum cleaner's paradise-carpeted-house and a 2 year old cleaning the cold wood stove with wet wipes. Not to mention a page worth of "to-do" stuff to-do today.

And I have a lot on my mind. To sum what's-on-my-mind up, 2009 is a GREAT year to have come to an end. It was just a bad year in general. My "New Year's Resolution" (which I'm always very picky about making New Year's Resolutions) is "Survival Was Fine For 2009, To Do Better We CAN In 2010."

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Now it's several days later. And I didn't get my post done before the company arrived. But, what I did do was actually accomplish laundry and entered the New Year leaving all the dirty laundry in the old year. I wish I was figuratively speaking but I mean that literally: the clothing, sheets, towels, lines, etc., were all CLEAN before the clock struck midnight.

As for Toby's computer woes, he decided to continue with the tech-support-method of fixing the computer problem instead of spending $,$$$ to replace the whole contraption. He continues to spends hours on the phone and eats supper at his desk. I offered to actually fix the problem for him but when I told him it involved a hatchet, he decided to just put up with the tech-support guy for another few hours.

But, the laundry is still clean, the house is relatively structured and I have some pretty good intentions on re-formatting my life in the wifely/mothering/homeschooling/just-house-keeping-in-general-area of living.

What a great way to start out the year!

Oh Yeah... I Do Have a Blog

It just dawned on me that I pretty much never blog anymore. Never.

As I sit here typing, I can hear two small children helping themselves to Popsicles and crackers in the kitchen. Janae is teaching Alex how to say Popsicle... "Alex, say PAAAA," to which Alex says, "PAAAAA," and then Janae finishes with unintelligible syllables. She's quite the teacher.

Life is one crazy busy good thing. Death has been an ever present shadow on our lives this year and though it's easy to withdraw into morbidity and let yourself grow numb and cold to little things in life like breathing and health and things such as that, it's been a good reminder that life is precious. Each day is new. And God is good.

We've spent a lot of time on the road lately. By the time November is over, we will have spent 42+ hours in our van since October 23rd. That's not including the 36 hours we spent between July and August.

Though living out of a suitcase may not be as homey and predictable as living out of a dresser, we've enjoyed all the time spent with family and friends. And wouldn't trade it for anything.

School has been a rough thing to stay on top of -- the actual schoolwork part has gone very well but it's just getting it in and staying consistent that's been challenging. The kids love to learn and everything usually goes well until I get poked in the eye with the back end of a pencil. Or someone decides to compete in a letter-writing race with their sibling and turns out a bunch of squiggly lines that are supposed to be the letter 's'. Or Alex decides to cut the calender with a pair of scissors. Other than that, it's really good. I'd recommend homeschooling to everyone I know. (But, be sure and wear safety glasses though.)

So I guess this all just to say that I do still profess to be a blogger and just because I don't blog here much doesn't mean anything more than that I'm either riding on some long and distant interstate or doing school with the kids.

About That Facelift...

Just so you privileged bloglines.com readers (or other such blog reader support-ers) know that you should come directly to my blog at www.coeurdcourt.blogspot.com

I would hate for all my hard work to go un-appreciated, if you know what I mean.

Watch Out....

A face lift can only mean one thing, right?

Stay tuned because I have a hunch the blogger is back!

Confessions of a Mom with Mono II

I am thinking of starting a "Moms with Mono" support group so that Moms with Mono will have a place to go for information and support on how to deal with Mono while being a Mom. Not that I think I have all the support or information that a Mom with Mono needs to cope with life but that's my point: I don't. I need a support group.

Of course, this support group would have to be located in a cyber sort of place since all Moms with Mono know how hard it is to get out of the house just to nab their two year old from the street just to get the mail so to have to GO someplace to get help for mono, would be a contradiction. I mean seriously, if you can GO to a "support group" while suffering with an infection in your body, you probably aren't feeling very sick. But with mono, you do feel sick. So you stay in your chair and surf for "Moms with Mono" support groups.

Me: Hi. My name is Courtney
Group: Hi Cooourtneeeey!
Me: It has been 2 days since I've had a fever.
Group: Yay!!! (cyber claps -- whatever those are)

I spend a lot of time in a soft chair with a warm laptop on my --you guessed it-- lap. I dream about laundry and lysoling my house and vacuuming 7 day old cookie crumbs and cleaning the toilet all while trying to slurp down coffee, which by the way, tastes disgusting now. And as I sit here, I realize I'm a changed woman: I don't like coffee anymore. This makes me sad and perpetual sadness always makes me depressed and depression always makes me crave a dark hole with a bowl of worms in it. And then I just want to eat dirt.

So I do mental exercises called TTB (Think The Best) and chant to myself, "think the best, think the best, think the best..." and such as and therefore. Rome wasn't built in a day so why should I get better in a day, right? I just worry that my java pot won't forgive me...

As I sit and rest and try to relax (yes, those are three very different things) I have learned a lot from reading, talking (phone) and more reading and deep thinking.

First off, just sitting doesn't cause a person to rest and simply sitting and resting doesn't cause a person to relax. You have to get rid of the kids set your mind to just stop thinking before you can relax and make your rest worth wasting time sitting over. (Yes, I thought long and hard over this paragraph.)

Now, for me to enjoy sitting and allowing my body to rest thus finding a way to relax, I have to feel somewhat productive. So I've taken up a few hobbies. Namely one called, Researching The Web On Any Topic That Interests You.

:: I have learned how to compost guinea pig manure and what cold compost means. Now to just be able to get out in the garden...

:: I have studied my Bible at lengths and in directions I haven't had the occasion to study in for a long, long time.

:: I have realized that my stove has not turned on in days, thus proving that the time I'd spend cooking, I'm spending resting... thanks to dear friends who have cared for us so well.

:: I have fallen asleep while laying on the deck in the sun; an invigorating nap experience. And no, I didn't over heat or become a lobster. Vitamin D is good for me, you see.

:: I have learned that sitting in one position in your recliner for 1 1/2 hours will make you feel like you just ate Thanksgiving dinner. Weird, I know.

:: I have learned a lot of stuff.

And now, slowly as I get my strength back, I enjoy the freedom to not be confined to my chair and laptop so much. I'm amazed at how good one feels when they don't have a constant fever. I am glad to see the callouses on my thumbs from opening the ibuprofen bottles are finally gone. And I don't feel the overwhelming "you'll never get better" feelings anymore either.

But, I have to say from one Mom with Mono to another Mom without Mono: enjoy each fun hour you spend playing with your kids at the park. Moms with Mono would give anything to not have to pay to spend time with their kids like that. My next milestone is just that. To stop paying for something I already spent hours in labor for: my kids.

I can tell I'm getting there. Watch out world...

Mid-life Crisis

For the sake of the readers that haven't given up on my blog, this is an update to let you know that a blog post will be coming soon.

I have been in a whirlwind of activity life lately and have finally realized that life is just that: a whirlwind. I need to quit calling this lifestyle of activity I live anything else besides life.

At the beginning of the month, I got a phone call from my sister saying that she was bored and having a strange urge. She just felt like sitting in her car for 10 hours all by herself and thought she'd make it productive by actually driving that entire time. We both thought and thought of a location that would just happen to be all of 10 hours from where her car was sitting and ironically, just like sisters do, unanimously came up at the same time with the same idea that she should come to our house. Voila.

Seriously, she was all alone with no husband (he had to go to training in another state) and wanted to replace that loneliness with quality time with her niece and nephews. We were very happy to accommodate her plans of visiting us although we almost said no because we knew it would be sad to see her go.

We had so much fun together. I often marvel at how well siblings connect throughout childhood and before marriage but I was even more amazed at how strong that connection stays even after one or both leave home and marry far and distant men. (So if any of you are holding out on getting married for this reason, I have proof that you really don't need to worry about sibling relationships. Now, go get married.)

One day Britt and I were playing a duet on the piano that we had never played together before. It was a rather bouncy rendition of Yankee Doodle, a song I had never played until Britt was plunking it out that day and making me follow suit. As we jammed along, suddenly at the same time and just after the line about the macaroni in his hat, we both got the urge to modulate the key up a half a step. Without missing a beat (or saying a word), we both suddenly, without warning, landed on the key of D. We do stuff like that all the time. It's almost freaky.

My husband thinks it's weird too and gets uncomfortable when we do freaky things like that. I think he just wants in the loop he just wants to concentrate on the book he's reading instead of having to hear us giggling uncontrollably every time we share a look, stay speechless and bust out laughing.

So, as you can see, I have been rather distracted and unable to blog. A blog post will be coming soon though since I do have a lot on my mind.

Until this blog is updated, another reason why I haven't posted lately is because I think I am going through a mid-life crisis. Now, how's that for an excuse for not blogging? I bet you've never heard that one before. (I should really copyright that one.)

If you've gone through a mid-life crisis, you would know how complicated and complex deep thoughts in the back of a mid-life crisis brain can be. There is just so much there to be sorted out that I'm thinking about calling for a cease fire. It can get rather exhausting to have one deep thought after another fire away in your head. It's like my brain has set up a firing range with a target on one end and several cases of bullets and a loud gun on the other. I'm not quite sure what kind of gun it is so when I get that figured out, I'll let you know. Regardless of the gun's make and model, it definitely has a precise and accurate barrel because it keeps hitting the bull's eye. And it's really loud.

I am not a public speaker at all so to write my whole heart out to all of you right now, is just not anywhere in my mental capability. Especially considering how much of my brain is being taken up as a target right now. And also because I do not know all who read my blog or where they're at in life and how or if they'll understand true honesty and forthrightness.

Truth is, I may actually know them but don't know they're reading here. I have noticed that often people flee the truth and hold on to ideals and then are shocked when you finally make it clear to them what the truth really is. And I don't like to find out after the fact that what I said was just too honest and open for someone to handle.

Yesterday in Church, a part in the sermon jumped out at me in the midst of juggling two very squirmy toddlers. The preacher was reading about the armour of God. My heart latched on to the part about truth. "Loins girded about with truth." It dawned on me just then that truth must be very important since the only thing girding and protecting the loins of a soldier of Christ is, truth.

But, why do people constantly shy away from the truth and instead grasp ideals, traditions, desires and facades?

Besides publicly bearing my soul here, another option would be to sit down and talk to each one of you individually. That sounds a lot more appealing. But, since I can't do that with everyone here because I don't know everyone that reads this and it's physcially impossible to make a point to talk to someone that you don't even know exists, I'll sort my thoughts, collect my thinking and endeavor to get to the bottom of the pile of bullets yet to be shot at that target.

It seems as though what makes this a "crisis" is the fact that it's like a "at a cross roads" experience of life. Yet at the same time, I could drop the gun, walk away from the firing range and send am atom bomb in to wipe out the thoughts that seem to have created the world that is my brain. That may be an easy way out actually and it is quite tempting. But, to do that would mean I gave in and gave up. I would essentially cease to think.

And that would be a tragedy.

So, I said all that to say I plan to update my blog soon. Which I guess by saying that here on my blog right now, I am basically doing NOW what I said I would do: update my blog.

I guess this blog now has a new post.

A Revelation

COFFEE. That's what I was going to say. It's coffee that gets me going on a blog moment too. A nice big open window and hot cup of dark, creamy coffee and I am on a roll. Right now I'm just stuck with the coffee. But that's okay because I highly doubt I could live without the stuff, blogging or no blogging.

And a reliable computer always helps too. Still no word on the screen-freezing-wayfaring-wild-daring computer.

Back To Normal

Well, my computer is home. For the time being. Before we all have a "welcome home" party for this unreliable peice of technology, let me break this to you softly: I'm afraid to get too attached to this laptop and I'm fantasizing thoughts that maybe my computer is a scientific experiment that computer geeks will dub "Disposable Computer." Which really isn't a bad thing because just think about what you CAN'T buy that isn't disposable? Everything you buy, you have the option of getting it disposable or indisposable. I meant to buy an indisposable laptop but apparently they had the packaging messed up when I bought this one.

It's like a sick patient that needs hospice care. Only you can't set up hospice for a computer.

I've had this laptop just a month over a year (ie., 13 months). The hardrive (or is it hard drive?) was replaced once and wiped another time. The bottom of the laptop heats to a temperature comparable to your iron. My skirts are always nice and smooth at the top because of this added feature on my laptop computer.

So anyway. I thought my trouble would be over but apparently not. Even getting this thing "fixed" was an ordeal.

Like the day I called Best Buy three days after they told me this would be done. I found the number in the phone book and called. No big deal but I had heard horror stories about how hard it was to actually talk to a computer rep.

The phone rang and rang and rang and rang. And continued to ring. I didn't know a phone could ring so many times without going hoarse. But, I had been warned so shrugged it off. Finally, somebody answered and asked if they could help me.

"Hi! I'm calling to check on my computer that was supposed to be fixed 3 days ago. Just wondering if I can come in and pick it up," I said.

The receptionist acted like she knew who I was, what computer I was talking about and simply needed to look in the "Ready For Pick-up" bin. "Let me check. Hold on please," she said.

Wow! They actually knew me without asking for my name, telephone number, social security number, serial number on my computer and order number on the sheet of paper they gave when I brought my computer in for repair.

I waited for several minutes. Finally, another person got on the line. They needed my name and number. My hopes for personal ties with the first receptionist were dashed when I realized I was just another number. Just another phone call. Just another person with a broken computer.

So, I gave them my number.

About 47 seconds later, they needed my number again.

35 seconds later, they asked again for my number.

In a 4 minute phone call, they asked for my phone number 4 times. FOUR times in a FOUR minute phone call. Okay folks, that's on average once a minute.

They couldn't help me very speedily so they took my number down that last time, told me they'd call back later since their (okay, get this): computer wasn't working right.

It took all my self control, personal dignity and an intense measure of patience to not blurt out that I knew the place where they should send their computer to get fixed.

I got a call a few days later that my computer was ready for pick up. Last night I went into town and got it. There was nothing dangerous, scary or impressive about picking it up. I checked my email after I got home and felt good that maybe my computer was back to normal. This morning I realized that it is back to normal. But, normal doesn't always mean predictable or reliable or good. Normal in this case means: just the way it was when you sent it in for repair.

Not to dash your hopes or oust the good luck I'm sure you all have been sending me but I need to be honest and tell you right now that this computer has been blinking weirdly and crashed TWICE since starting this blog. I've seen the "configuring updates" and "please wait" signs more often than not since I attempted a blog today. And that blue screen... ugh. It's shown it's face too. Only this time it has white, vertical stripes with it. So, I guess it's a little fancier than it was before.

I think we're back to normal one again and before my computer goes into it's perpetual "disposable" mode, I'm dashing my mouse to the "publish post" button just so cyber space will know that I'm still out there somewhere, floating around trying to connect with the blog world while dealing with that disgusting Code Blue screen that cuts me off entirely from the life-line found in the twenty-first century called: The Internet.

On Inspiration, Windows and Failing Computers

I am without my computer. The computer that I always use to blog on. The computer that has given me so many fits and trials since about a month after we got it. The computer that deleted all our Christmas 2007 pictures. Yeah, that computer.

Even though it's been a horrendous computer and hardly reliable, I shared a lot of blog moments on it. I hate to admit my personal feelings about a piece of technology and how it can best derive my thoughts from the cranial corners of my head but the truth be known: I relate best to blogspot.com when I can look out a window while writing. It's always been that way. When I need inspiration and I can't quite think of the word, I look out a window. Yeah... I know... you probably think I'm a tree hugger now but really, I'm not. It's just a change of scenery that I find out a window that inspires me.

The reason I'm blogging right now is because I stole away to Toby's computer while he was away for a few minutes. I looked out the window long and hard before I came down here because, horror of horrors, his computer is firmly lodged in the darkest corner of our basement and there are no windows to look out of. Thus why this blog post is lacking in articulate lingualistics. (is that even a word? I have no window to look out of in order to find a better, more fitting, accurate description/word/phrase/something-like-that.)

So, until I get my computer back and until I can blog by an open window, my blog is taking a hiatus. Or going into hibernation. Or taking a break. Or waiting for the repair man to fix my computer. Or whatever way you want to look at it. Like I said, I'm lacking window inspired inspiration right now.

I meant to contact those of you that offered advice on the layout here. I will do that when I can more easily get in contact with my email without having a busy business man hang over my shoulder in hopes that I will just relinquish his computer back to him so that he can save the world one roof at a time.

For now, I'm going to go back upstairs look out a window and wonder what I may have forgotten to tell you just now. I'll be back when all is well... or when I have a, um, chance and time to ahhh, well, I just better go find a window since I totally lost my train of thought.

What Do You Think?

The template here is old and outdated. I have 3 children now but by the background pictures on my blog, you would think I only had 2.

Yet I get a lot of comments about the background so I don't know if it would be worth replacing/changing/deleting/just leaving. When I blog, I don't actually see the pictures unless I go to my site directly. So, the background is more for the reader's benefit and not mine so much.

What do you think? Should it change? Yes? No? Maybe so?

Please reply with your opinion and no matter what you say, please include your email address. I want to personally respond to each idea, tip and comment.

If you would rather not publicly post your idea here, you can email me at tobyzluv "at" gmail "dot" com (I assume everyone would know how to decipher my email from that. Just trying to avoid public search engines that offer free spamming....)

I am wide open for your discussion!

When It's Time To End The Series

That's all folks! My series of "When" posts have officially ended. It was good to feel the pressure I had from knowing I publically stated that there were several finished drafts in my drafts folder. Something about admitting that was like confessing something but yet not giving it up. I hated that some of you were suspecting that I may just be a procrastinater. (I finally got around to saying that...)

So, there you have it. Our "series" is ended.

The next week will find me busily enjoying company and filling up on girl time. A member from here and the author of here have embarked on a plan to come visit this ex-Wisconsin girl. Hopefully we can have a productive visit together and don't overload the men around here with too many silly laughs and "I-got-the-giggles-for-no-reason-again" moments. Although, something in me says that we will indeed laugh far too much. And drink way too much coffee. And stay up way too late. And be way too ambitious. And have way too much fun...

When Life Gives You Lemons, Just Hope Your House isn't One of Them... or your husband's computer

It's funny how you can have plans for a day, make arrangements, prepare, perspire and even pray about an event and then have everything change.

That's what happened today.

We were scheduled to have a major event take place in our basement aka: The Water Hole. We were getting a high class drain tile system put in so that we could use our basement and keep our socks dry. Not only to keep our socks dry but also to store a few kids down there.

This was our list before the basement people came:

1. Clean garage
2. Clean out basement and put everything in pre-cleaned garage
3. Dig 2 large holes next to exeterior basement wall
4. Cut 2 large holes in basement wall
5. Install 2 large windows in the holes in basement wall
6. Sweep up the entire mess
7. Repeat sweeping
8. Do all laundry
9. Move washer, dryer, freezer, non-garaged storage items to center of basement
10. Make plans to leave for the day
11. Resign to having a house full of dust upon arrival home
12. Surrender to vacuuming, sweeping, dusting dust for several weeks from the basement
13. Dust, dust, dust, dust, dust, dust, dust...... etc.

All the above was completed so everything was in order, right? Wrong. Little did we know about the predicament of a very important little thing: the structure that made up the footings, walls and floor of our home. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Toby planned to run errands today in preparation for the upcoming home show. Now, the home show is a big event for us. We advertise our business there and have done so 4 out of the 5 years we've been married. I have a little animosity for the home show. Yes, it helps my husband bring home the bacon and all that good stuff but the home show and I are competing for the same affection: Toby.

You see, we were married February 15, a mere week after that first home show Toby and his brother participated their business in. I was not aware this would be a yearly affair. I was a gullible, young, girlfriend that thought getting married was simply picking a date and establishing a wedding that would transpire into a marriage. I forgot about the anniversaries that always follow a wedding.

So, I said all that to say that every year, the home show falls right before, on or after our anniversary. EVERY SINGLE YEAR. The home show people and I must have been thinking the same dates when we both planned for our big events.

As Toby planned the errands he had to run, I looked forward to cruising around Lincoln with him in a loud, big truck. How romantic! Especially with 3 screaming kids. Well, make that 2 kids and 1 screaming kid.

We woke up this morning to a Nebraska Prairie Blizzard. After the almost 50 degree weather we had the two days before, 8 degrees above zero was pretty cold. (at least we were still above zero though). Toby said his plans had changed because of the weather and he would just stay home and do book work. Fine with me since I knew we'd still all be together like one big happy family.

Then the basement people got here and got right to work. I could here machines running, guys talking and real work going on down there. I ran to the grocery store to get coffee and milk and braved the frigid weather and bad roads.

Arriving home I could hear nothing but Alex screaming loudly in the highchair. He was saying something about being left alone, everyone leaving and wondering why everyone hated him. Tears were literally spraying off his face.

I could hear no work. No people talking. No machines. The silence sounded interesting. I made coffee, consoled Alex and put groceries away while Landon and Janae ransacked the packaged groceries. A ripped package of beef caused by a child's finger and another child wanting to open up a cake mix because he promised he wouldn't eat it was making my day a tad stressful.

And then Toby came up and broke the news to me. I couldn't understand all the logistics but it had something to do with the fact that our basement was originally constructed wrong. The footings were not being used like they should and the floor was in the wrong place. They couldn't install the drain tile. Bummer, especially when you can't just move the floor like you can move a wall.

The crew was waiting on a supervisor to get here before arriving to a verdict and Toby wallowed in a big pool of What Are We Going To Do Now. It sounded bad. This cute little bungalow we bought last year was a lemon. And when you want a house and get a lemon, that is not a good thing. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade but how do you make lemonade out of a lemon house? We figured we'd just have to do that by tearing the entire basement out and starting from scratch. But, how could we do that? We couldn't afford that. So much for new bedrooms. So much for a new kitchen. Poor wasted egress windows already installed in the basement.

The head honcho guy got here and had a few solemn talks on his cell phone outside in the frigid wind and snow. The guys downs stairs started hauling their tools and machines and noise outside back to the truck. Toby looked like he was preparing for a long swim in his What Are We Going To Do Now pool. (that look is similar to what most people would look like when they prepare to attend the funeral of a loved one.) I was trying to find a recipe for lemonade but I had none of the ingredients except for one big fat ugly lemon.

Finally, a verdict was made. The supervisor head honcho guy became the hero. Superhero. He explained the situation of our walls and that there was a product available that would be used in situations like ours. And the best thing was this: the new product (though it cost a tad more) was installed via Epoxy on the existing floor! No jack hammering out the perimeter of the basement floor! No dust! No waiting a week for 18" of cement to dry on the perimeter of the basement before we could build rooms! No more lemons!

Never before have I felt like worshipping something other than God but a part of me wanted to utter reverent praises to Thrasher Basement Systems. They truly saved the day and our house. The only draw back was the fact that they couldn't get here to do that installment until the middle of February. But, what's the big deal? I mused... we already have the home show then, our anniversary and Valentines day... why not add another historical event to that week?

Shortly after, the sun came out. The landscape was covered in a fresh blanket of white snow. The blizzard stopped. It was so pretty. Toby got back to work on his book work. Just then, his computer froze and began to flash really weird. It then wouldn't turn on. Another lemon. Why the computer? Why Toby's computer? He needs his computer for book work just like you need money to pay your bills. He needs his computer for work. For that home show. He doesn't just need a computer; he needs it to work. So, he made plans to take it in and get it looked at.

He went to our reliable, steady van only to crank the key and hear nothing but a dead battery. He decided to try my computer and began to transfer files from his portable hard drive. Word shut down unexpectedly. He had gotten none of his bookwork done all day and it was now 1:30 pm.

Finally, the van battery got charged and Toby left for town. I told him I still wanted to be a wife by the end of the day so please, stay safe and don't have anything else bad happen. He couldn't promise anything and mumbled something about being jinxed.

So, with that, I kissed him goodbye, found a cup of coffee and sat down and blogged. That's my way of making lemonade when life gives me lemons. Aren't you glad?

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Just for the record and because of the context of this blog, I almost posted this twice to Toby's blog because I didn't see that he was signed in on this computer and not me. I signed out and signed back in twice before it worked. It is a miracle that with all the copying and pasting, this post actually survived it's traumatizing journey to the wide web world.

Update of Fate and Snake Hate

I have a blog
I have a dog
I neglect my blog
and feed my dog
aren't you excited
my priorities are righted?

I have kids
they play with lids
they play with pans
they play with cans
they play with pots
they play a lots

I have a house
without a mouse
I like to bake
without a snake
my house you see
it has some snakes
and that is bad
oh, that is sad

It is such a pain
to hear the rain
it comes right in
and that is sin
the floor is wet
and the snakes they get
wet snake bellies
and eyes of wet jellies

We are taking the time
to spend a dime
to fix our home
and the snakes that roam
the water will leave
oh I can't believe
my house will be dry
the snakes go buh-bye!

With another dime
(I love this rhyme)
our kitchen so small
is expanding a wall
a bigger and better
(oh, I just love this letter)
is coming to us
such a happy fuss!

Without further adieu
let me say to you
that writer's block
it has a lock
where I like to think
and put to ink
the things I think
and the thoughts that dink

With a small fight
I broke the tight
block of lock
that block of mock
that kept me quiet
I hope you didn't buy it
that I wasn't busy
or perhaps even dizzy

And here I am
a blogging ma'am
coming to you
with a rhyme that's new
to tell you that
my work is fat
my work is full
my work not dull

My kitchen a mess
(the heart of this nest)
is getting some work
and I must not shirk
on making food
for my handsome dude
or watching my kids
play with my lids

So all that to say
that from this day
I will try to blog
(and feed the dog)
but I may not be
very frequently
updating this site
so go fly a kite!

Alex Daniel

Look who was 5 months old the other day? Yeah, I'm always a day late and a dollar short but at least I'm a strong believer in better late than never.

And, oh yes! he is as fun in person as he looks on camera. Always ready for a smile, a hug, a cuddle and a little one-on-one time saying "ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!" For giving us such a hard time the first 4 months of his life, he has definitely made up for it now. A very happy and content baby but still loves to eat when he's hungry. (read, starving.) As you can tell from the pictures, he is never late for a meal.

A Pointless Post

With everything going on at once and not much happening at the same time, it's just plain hard to blog.

Take for example this evening while holding my calm (not) placid (not) delicate (not) 15+ pound baby boy on my lap while trying to catch up online. He kept kicking me and finally, I realized his intention had never been to kick me but actually kick at my warm cup of decaf coffee. Ahhh! What a warm sensation coffee can bring when you consume it in more ways than one. Especially while wearing an offwhite shirt. Talk about a double whammy.

Both of my older kiddos have fevers and I myself am a tad under the weather. Just got the sniffles. It's not like a full blown cold or anything, just an annoying nose is all. Not a big deal except when your nose is dripping, the baby is screaming, the phone is ringing and supper is cooking and you can't find a kleenex.

As I sit here now, I can see Alex just past my screen laying on the floor flopping and rocking from side to side. He's turned himself like the hand of a clock in an attempt to change views, reach for toys and look at me. He has almost rolled over several times. It would take two flies zooming past his fat bottom to upset his balance enough and cause him to fully roll from his back to his tummy. But, so far, I only see one fly down there. He is so close to turning.

What is it with flies this year? We have them so bad in (yes, even in) our house that you'd think we lived on a pig farm. Everyone I talk to says they too have the same kind of problems with flies. Mealtime is the worse. I have decided to set the table with the usual mealtime utensils but also add a fly swatter.

Yuck! you say. I know, that would be gross to have a dirty fly swatter. But, I figure that's better than a husband who tries to kill them with his bare hands all through the meal. Not only does he try, but he usually succeeds. He is especially inspired to kill when he sees more than one fly in an area the size of his palm. Ewww. I know. That's what I say too. But, men will be men and no amount of germs will keep men from being men.

Yet with those same hands, my husband will clean up a puke covered little girl while I sit and gag and look the other direction. He is so brave. So, I guess I'm glad most men aren't afraid of germs.

Well, Alex has about decided that his time alone has come to an end. He needs his mother, the poor neglected child. He just loves to always be right with me. Which wouldn't be so hard if he didn't weigh almost 20 lbs. at 4 months old and knew how to kick coffee down my chest. He's talented. Oh, and he LOVES to go shopping. Seriously. He does. I wear him in my MobyWrap and he just peers out and grins away at people until he gets too tired and then droops his head and takes a little snooze. I wonder if I could try something like that with my husband in order to help him enjoy shopping.

This isn't much of an update but like I said, not much going on lately yet everything happening at once. Then again, that's kinda how life is around here lately.

So yeah, this is an update.

So Much To Say Yet Nothing At All

This blog has been sorely neglected.

I know if I don't post something soon, Blogger will shut me down.

Of course, Blogger hasn't done that to any blogs but I just know that if I let this blog go another day, they might decide to dust out a few neglected corners of their system and poof, I would be gone.

All because Blogger dusted, I would be gone.

Does Blogger dust?

Perhaps they do; perhaps they don't.

Either way, I haven't blogged lately.

And if I don't blog soon, Blogger will have every reason to dust me off.

Of course we haven't established the fact that they do dust but as mentioned already, in case they do, and in case they do it tonight, I should just give them reason not to dust me.

So, there's my blog.

I hope Blogger is happy.

And that you are too.

In other news, I have made several sore attempts at a post. But, as you probably well know after many vain visits to my blog with no new posts recently, it's resulted in nothing more than a draft. I hate drafts. I need to dust out my drafts folder and polish up some posts. Or, maybe I don't need to. I have had such controversial topics on my mind lately that I fear if I let them spill anywhere near here, I would cease any and all future blog moments. So, I digress.

I blog best when I'm glad, sad, mad or bad. But, if I'm all four at once, I do not blog well at all. Not at all.

So, there you have it. I have been glad, sad, mad and bad lately. Don't ask about the bad. I'm really not that bad. As for the glad right now, that's really good. And the sad and mad are just, well, that: sad and mad.

The topics on my mind and the situations in my life right now leave me fired, wired and tired so I just don't have that 3 letter formula left over for blogging: N R G. (insert a couple E's and drop a Y on the end and you get the correct form of spelling.)

So, before you all feel as neglected as my pet guinea pig has lately, I just wanted to assure you that things will pick up here again. I was going to say soon but I can't promise anything. I just better reaquaint myself with a proper frame of mind before I embark on any topics at hand.

With that, I bid thee adieu while hoping for a more collected string of thoughts.

Word Verification

I know how annoying Word Verification is so I will do my readers a favor and disable it. I hope the spammers don't get wind of this though. There is something freaky about going to your email inbox and finding 134 posts from commenters on your blog. Wow! I'm famous, is your first reaction. And then you find out it was some computer generated automated system that did that.

Word Verification keeps a blogger from having that despair.

But, then I hate it when I read a blog, go to comment and find I have to type in those "characters." Is that a 'g' or a '9' I'll wonder, and then hit enter and wait and then have to retype those 6 characters because I can't tell my numbers from my letters.

Now that I've disabled the annoyance for you readers, maybe that'll encourage some more comments on my blog?

Time For A Change

Later today, I plan to lug my 15 pound bundle of a baby boy and learn how to nurse. Yes, you read that right. I am going to a haven of lactation consultants and surrendering my instincts to someone that can help me learn how to channel my efforts in the right direction.

This Medela Pump In Style has been a life saver for my baby boy but it's time to cut the ties with it. It has been the bridge between Alex's nutrition and my ability to produce his nutrition. But it's time to burn that bridge. My freezers are experiencing a dairy dilemma, thanks to all the milk the pump has produced but it's time to make room for harvest occupants instead. Where is the milk bank when you need it? Or would that be better phrased: when they need you?

After 2 successfully nursed babies, I was confidant and unafraid of any nursing hurdles when I first had Alex. Except for the usual engorgement and frustration in waking a newborn baby to eat, I figured I'd be all professional this time.

But, that was not to be. I've had a breast infection, he's had colic. I've had a yeast infection, he's had colic. I've had production frustrations, he's had colic. I've had too much milk, he's had colic. I've had not enough milk, he's had colic. His improper latch technique has totally changed my approach to nursing him, and then we both have colic.

Did I mention that he has colic?

So, with my darling screaming baby today, I plan to educate myself in the ways of womanhood that are supposed to come natural but often don't when problems arise. I am praying that the results will conclude that I can indeed nurse, my baby can indeed latch on right and our home can indeed be inhabited by peace.

And to think I used to complain about our house being too quiet... may the peace return after the results from today.

Warning: Girly Post

Actually, this is probably more of a "motherly" post considering the topic on my mind effects mothers more than it effects the general population of girls. And, considering the obvious fact that any girl that has become a mother, has 9.99 times out of 10 dealt with this topic, I'm confident to say I'm not alone.

But, to you people that are neither girls or mothers, this post may not be quite up your alley. So, just thought I'd warn you ahead of time.

Introduction aside, I knew something wasn't right when I had a better than text book labor, extraordinarily wonderful birth and then ended up with the cutest baby boy in the world. Wouldn't you know that fate caught up with me and landed me a pretty nasty catch.

101.8 fever. Chills. Pounding headache. Horrible aches. Awful pain in chest.

Do the math. Yes, I have a breast infection.

Not sure how I got started down this road, other than I think I made a wrong turn when I quit nursing and began pumping exclusively. The reason I did that was because of sores and a baby that wouldn't latch on right. And when I started pumping, I got the bright idea that if I pumped less often, my milk supply would even out to what my one single baby actually needed and would quit producing the amount normally needed for triplets.

It all was working out really good until the infection set in. Now I'm on antibiotics and violating every rule of thumb I normally follow when I'm nursing a baby.

In the meantime, I still am enjoying my darling baby boy to the hilt and loving every minute I get to cuddle and kiss him. He's a perfect baby and seems to adjust well to each change that comes his way. And that's a good thing considering all the adjustments he's had recently.

Hopefully within the next week, I'll be getting back on my feet again and settled back into a more pleasant routine of recovery. I was determined after I had Alex that there would be no medical set backs this time, no out-of-the-ordinary experiences and no emergency runs to the doctor. After Landon's birth, I had severe gall bladder problems and after Janae's birth, she spiked a fever for no reason and we rushed her to the ER. Plus, she had major nursing problems and would seriously choke several times during a feeding. There were always surprises after their births and I was taking the precautions necessary to avoid those set backs this time.

But, wouldn't you know it... I got a whole new set of circumstances just to prove that verse in Proverbs: Man makes his plans but the Lord directs his steps.

Looking forward to better days!