Procrastinators Unite

I won't even try to capture a nostalgic committed-to-change New Years Resolution spirit right now. I know it's the first post on my blog this year and the unwritten rule is that all first posts in the New Year must emphasis the importance of what will change in the new year, etc. I am resisting the trend.

Honestly folks, since when are NYR's (figure that out) anything to talk about? All we do is TALK about them. What's the point of talking about something you only talk about? Why not discuss the things you actually DO.

It dawned on me today that people who wait until January 1 of whatever respective year they're in to "start over" or make a fresh start on something, are really procrastinators. That's the hard core truth, I know. (And it takes one to know one.)

Not to totally desert you in your defeated state of mind as you attempt to grasp the truth of what I just said, I have hope: you CAN start over today, tomorrow, the next day or even next week. It doesn't HAVE to be the beginning of a new year. I know, isn't that amazing news?

So, go get on that diet you've been talking of trying for the last several months. Start that hobby you've been threatening your loved ones with. Make a change in your coffee drinking habits. Whatever it is you want to start over or begin with or make an end to, do it now. Don't wait until next year.

OH, and if you get it down pat but fail tomorrow, don't worry: each morning is a fresh start. A new beginning. You don't have to wait until January 1 2010 to attempt it again.

If you insist on making me admit that I have a NYR, then fine. Here it is: I'm taking on God's perspective in 2009. He starts over every morning. He gives a new beginning. A new abundance of mercy.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness..."

Lamentations 3:22-23

A fresh beginning on January 1 is always fun. But it doesn't usually last long into the week month year. I'm taking all my new endeavors one day at a time. That's what God does with me and I think He has the right idea.

Since God relentlessly does that for me, than I will always have hope to start that new menu. That efficient laundry schedule. That coupon clipping craze. That better-use-of-her-time planner. That love-her-crazy-adorable-kids more. That be a better wife idea.

My goal this year is that in everything I set out to do (that I end up failing in), the next day will bring all the hope I need to start over. I won't have to wait until the next January 1st.

And that's my New Years Resolution.

Making A Goal To Have Goals

There's been talk around our dinner table and early morning couple time and often in a traveling van and... basically, we've been talking about this a lot lately. And that is about setting goals for our family. Goals are those things that I just never seem to have time for. If I make it a goal, I can't get it done.

Take laundry for instance. I set a goal to get it done and voila! that's that very last thing that could ever be accomplished in that week let alone day. So, understandably, I pretty much have left off goal setting.



Until I began to re-think goals.

Goals should not be lofty expectations set above and beyond our means.

Goals should be practical in that if they aren't done within the goaled time frame, we don't live in uncontrollable regret, ultimately handicapping us from having a positive attitude about life.

Goals are to bring purpose and productivety, no matter if they are completed or not.

Goals are sometimes those things that we have to resort to labeling under the "it's-the-thought-that-counts" category and then go on with life, at peace that some things are best left un-done. (don't ask what things... I don't really know. That cliche' just sounded nice.)

Goals should motivate not demobilize.

Goals should be the umph that gets us headed towards the finish line of a project.

The bottom line is, without goals, our direction and focus is futile. There is no vision.

So, as we purpose to gain some goals that match the capacity of our family and the ages of our children, I have realized that I need to make goals for myself. As a mom. As a wife. As a friend. As a Christian.

It was then I realized that I perform best when I am under a time limit... company is coming and the kids are crabby and there's tons to do and food to make but I fly right through because I know there is only so much time to get everything done before it's too late. Ironically, everything usually gets done. BUT, on a quiet day when there is no time limit, it takes me 5 times as long to get something done. I know... that's weird but true.



Of course there are chore goals we should make (and keep) but also other goals as well. Here are a few of the goals I have set for this summer that mostly apply to me....

Bloom where I'm planted in this tight kitchen
Become an expert "smoovie" (smoothie) maker
Learn how to grill
Get better acquainted with a friend I met last year
Have company more
Drink less coffee
Worry less about my house
Explore the capabilities of having a green thumb (basically, don't kill any plants for at least 6 months)
Catch a snake
Learn how to make better bread
Spend less money
Shop less
Make a quilt
Arrange a romantic master bedroom suite in our 9x11 room
Have a garage sale
Cook something new for supper
Take better pictures
Shed unimportant responsibility
Greet my husband with a smile every evening for the next 365 days and everyday following
Drink coffee with Toby in the morning on our porch swing
Spend more time enjoying playing with my kids

Okay, you may not relate or understand the reason for particular goals I have set but I have decided that living each moment to it's fullest is an option I have everyday to choose. And I am choosing that.

The above goals are just a few things I've been thinking about but writing them down gives me 1) accountability and 2) motivation. Ultimately, it turns these ideas into goals.

"If you aim for
NOTHING,
you'll hit it
EVERY TIME."

When Being Informed Is Not Related To Being Prepared

In Case Of Emergency, Push The Invisible Button --

I was filling the van with gas the other day and happened to notice the warning that said "In Case of Emergency, Push Gas Shut-off Button" or something to that effect. Basically, if there was a fire or gas spill or if somebody started spraying you down with gas, hit the gas-shut-off button and you would be one step closer to resolving the problem.

So, before an accident occurred--not that I was expecting an accident but we all know what accidents are: something that happens unexpectedly (pregnancies happen unexpectedly too but they aren't what we'd call an "accident" necessarily. If that were the case, some of us would have "accidents" for children or perhaps would be "accidents" ourselves which I'm sure would not give these people a very good outlook on life so I won't throw the accident-definition-blanket over everything in life.)-- I decided to be a responsible citizen and get in touch with that gas shut off button. Like I said, I was only trying to be responsible.

As the tank filled with gas, I looked for that life saving button. I peered all over the structure the gas was coming out. I examined the support pillars. I checked everything in sight. I assumed that since an emergency situation would most likely happen in the vicinity of where I was using the gas, the gas-shut-off button should be in close proximity. But, it wasn't.

I never found the emergency button. Good thing there was no emergency that day or I'd still be looking for that button. Or, worse yet, I could be dead by now. Now isn't that a morbid thought?

On Running Backwards and Slimy Noodles

I finally figured out my problem. Yes, problem. You see, the Good Lord has blessed me with 24 hours in my day just like He's blessed the rest of you in the same way. But, with me, He also blessed me with 3 time stealer's... i.e. children. As if that wasn't enough to be blessed with, He gave me 8 loads of laundry to do. And then He required of me to do justly and be merciful to my family and feed this flock 3 times a day. With the food comes the fun of dirty dishes. Usually about that time, the precious baby is screaming because his swing is causing him to feel lonely. And as I walk to the swing to get the precious screaming lonely baby, I step on a slimy noodle and track the noodle all the way to the baby swing.

So, not only do I have 3 darling children, 8 loads of laundry, 3 meals to attend to, 3 kitchen cleaning sessions a day and 1 precious baby to comfort, I now have 1 sticky smeared noodle to pick out of the carpet.

You do the math:
24
3
8
3
3
1
-1
---
19

That leaves me with 5 hours left over. I usually use those 5 to sleep. If I'm lucky.

The other day Toby found a hastily scrawled 8 1/2" x 11" piece of paper that I had sitting on the buffet. "What's this?" He asked, reading down the sloppy list. I pleaded with him to treat the parchment like a sacred scroll because That Paper was My List. I took precious time out of my 24 hours to design that list. And I look at that list every few days just to see what else I could add to it. It's usually, "Clean noodles out of carpet" or some other monotonous thing. I'm thinking about putting "Change baby's diaper" on there just so I could actually cross something off.

I always thought 24 hours was a lot of hours. Until I had 3 kids. It seems like once my feet hit the floor in the morning, everything starts going backwards. My daily motto is "running 90 mph backwards." I call this frustrating; my husband calls it talent. He claims he doesn't know anyone that can run 90 mph backwards. "Well, hi my name is Courtney, I'm your wife and I can run 90 mph backwards."

Just recently, I spent all of one entire Saturday cleaning, sweeping, mopping and organizing the basement. You read that right, all day. In the huge process there were a few highlights. Such as me finding a snake skin behind the dryer, me killing giant crickets and fast spiders that hid under heavy bins and boxes and me saving an entire freezer from defrosting when I found it had come unplugged. On the way to church the next morning, Toby was complementing my successes. You know, doing what the Proverbs 31 woman gets when she finishes a job... "her works shall praise her." In our case, my works give their voice to Toby and I might add he does a fine job of encouraging me in this way.

I hate to admit this but lately, my unfortunate habit has been to occasionally moan to my dear husband about not being able to get anything done. When I worked so productively in the basement I think he was either praising me or else saying "I told you so" since he always counteracts each, "I can't get anything done" with "You'll get it all done." I seem to have a practice of complaining every night about my inability to actually accomplish something so maybe it's not as occasionally, as I like to think it is.

I mean, seriously, I can't even just sit and eat a meal without getting distracted in some way or another. I asked someone once what it was like to actually sit down at the table and stay there until the meal was done. I think if I did that, I'd feel like a child feels when their mom says, "you sit in that chair and stay there." I'd feel grounded.

Back to the Praising Works conversation we were having the morning after my big day... "I know Honey, it's great isn't it?" I said to him, both of us enjoying our clean basement. Then I went on, "But, I still could only cross maybe one thing off The List though." As if that wasn't discouraging enough, I then remembered that only half of the basement was actually considered done so therefore, I couldn't even cross "basement" off. I should've written "Half of basement" when I made The List. Or even, "Plan to clean all of basement."

So, back to my problem. I have 24 hours to get done what is seeming to take me several weeks to get done. Sometimes I look at The List and wonder if maybe I should just not sleep at night so that I could actually accomplish something without a baby screaming, kids falling off the steps, a child spraying water all over the bathroom floor, answering a toddler's deep theological questions ("Does God make you die?") or stepping on a wet noodle.

But, when you're running 90 mph backwards, it's nice to get a little bit of a break once in awhile. One of the things I've learned about my full 24 hours is that slimy noodles can always wait until morning.

On Toys, Shoes and Dog Poop

Now that I have all of three kids, I should feel like a well established mom, right? Wrong.

My days are crazy, my nights are crazy, my kids are crazy and even my husband is crazy.

I am awake when the rest of Central Standard Time citizens are sleeping and I sleep when they're awake. My kids are going 3 different directions at once and my husband is trying to keep up with me and all three of our kids plus maintain his own adult life that used to be predictable. Thanks to the presence of our darling baby boy who squeaks and squalls in a corner of our bedroom several times a night, my good man is sleepless at the wrong end of the clock too. But, the poor guy can't make up for it when the sun rises and the last child of our youth has finally peacefully entered dreamland.

Yes, you read that right too, last child. But, for you concerned individuals who believe as I do that children are a blessing, notice I said last child of our youth. At the rate we're going with this amount of sleep, we will not be youth by the time we have our next child.

Oh, and as for the house? Don't even go there. It is the culmination of everything crazy. I have been sorely tempted to completely empty our house of every possession and only return the items of necessity. That would entirely leave out toys, shoes and dog poop.

Yes, dog poop. Every time the kids go out to play in our privacy fenced yard, their foot ware (or bare feet if the dog steals their shoes) are threatened by the offensive aroma -- not to mention the actual substance -- of canine feces. I've about had it with the dog, carpet and kids. Somehow in my frantic I-can't-stand-that-smell mode, I've wisely realized that technically we can only get rid of the dog and carpet; not the kids that are mingling the dog with the carpet through the transportation of the feces.

But, before going to the dramatic effort of getting rid of the dog and carpet, we eliminated the dog poop problem by teaching are most able bodied child the art of picking up dog poop with special garden tools. He was thrilled to have his own shovel and rake not to mention the prospect of new gloves, or "mittens" as he refers to them.

So, we got rid of the poop. Now on to the toys and shoes.

Every single time I look across the room or at the floor or happen to glance in any general direction, I am assaulted by a toy or shoe on the horizon. And usually not just one either. It's as if the plague of frogs has returned to the earth in the form of shoes and toys and they were all sent to my tiny 1000 sq. foot house. I wondered what I had done to gain such a harsh punishment and was immediately reminded of my childless days when I complained of nothing to do. As I reflected back to those blissful days of peace and cleanliness, that was when I decided to throw everything out of the house and then just come inside and sit for 5 minutes on the floor in my living room and revel in the peaceful atmosphere of no shoes or toys.

The problem is that my kids play with shoes like most kids play with toys. And my kids play with toys like most kids play with dirt; they get them everywhere. And if you're wondering if my kids play with dirt too, I can assure you they have an unbelievable amount of experience with that. But for now, lets keep our focus on the shoes and toys.

We've experimented with so many remedies for the shoes, it's not even funny. Short of just leaving one pair of shoes in the mailbox and picking them up when we leave the house and not a moment sooner, we've tried everything. But, my kids continue to find them and mix and match all day long. It gets really bad when the shoes happen to step into the dog poop problem. Then our dilemma is twofold.

The other day there were 3 pairs of shoes sitting on our basement steps waiting to be washed, thanks to the dog poop. All 6 shoes congregated there in less than 15 minutes too. The only reason more shoes weren't added was because I didn't let the kids play outside for the rest of the morning.

Instead, they came inside and played with shoes for the rest of the day. At least those didn't have dog poop on them though.

As for the toys, we've done everything to eliminate their curse from our lives as well. Except for eliminating the toy box all together. Believe me, I've been tempted. I've limited Landon's trucks down to just a couple, as in a total of 2. The rest are in boxes in the basement. It's pretty bad when your three old remembers a semi truck he used to have and casually asks if that one is in the basement somewhere too. Sorry Bud, you're gonna have to stick with just a dump truck today.

I'm not a Big Mean Mom (or at least I don't like to think of myself that way) so I can't say I've tried really dramatic things like collecting a day's worth of stray toys and mailing them off to starving children in Africa. I've never thrown away a perfectly good toy either so I've not even been tough that way. As for shoe rules, I've been pretty sane about them too. My rules are motivated by logic.

I've made the "one toy at a time" rule but that doesn't work with a tractor and trailer and load of farm animals.

I've made the "no toy left behind" rule but I forgot how many toys get left under couch pillows and rocking chairs and aren't found until after the child has picked up "all" their toys and has long ago been put to bed.

I've made the "no toys today" rule but quickly ruled that out when I tried to explain to my kids that their toys were just for looking at. Instead, I implemented that rule on the shoes but had to throw that out the window when Janae lost one sandal.

And then I caught myself the other day when I was feeding the baby. Both the kids were happily playing in their room with their toys and seeming to have a good time. But, I was heaving and sighing over the toys OUT of the toy box.

I guess I've been so perplexed about toys littering the space above, below and around the toy box that I can't relax and just let my kids play with their own toys and in their own room.

So, my new rule is this: if the shoe has a foot in it and the toy is being used in an active manner, I'm not gonna worry about it. But, if the shoe sits empty, the toy is lonely and the kids are mingling with other shoes and toys, we'll get down to business. (there, don't I sound mean?)

Now to just figure out what kind of business to get down to that will actually work this time...

Pre-Follow Up

Today was very productive but I'll tell you all about it later. I'm getting ready for bed and looking forward to putting my feet up. If it wasn't for this harsh pregnancy-related sciatica, I'd stay up and do a proper post right now. But, I just can't tonight.

I have lots of pictures to download and then upload to my blog. And yes, every "before" has a following "after" picture.

I'll just say that from my list, I accomplished the following:

1. MAKE LIST (as mentioned)
2. REORGANIZE KITCHEN (rearrange, redecorate, clean, fill new island with necessary stuff, etc.)
3. EMPTY DISHWASHER
4. LOAD DISHWASHER
5. SWEEP AND WASH KITCHEN FLOOR
6. PUT WINTER STUFF IN "NEW" DRESSER
7. PUT AWAY DUFFEL BAG (that's been storing winter stuff)
8. SHOWER
9. FIX HAIR
10. MAKE SELF PRETTY
11. LIGHT A CANDLE
12. PLAY MUSIC (actually, I played a scripture tape instead... so uplifting!)

I also did the following:

1. CLEAN THE DININGROOM
2. LAY TABLE CLOTH AND PLACE MATS
3. STRAIGHTEN UP BATHROOM
4. GROCERY SHOPPING
5. REPACK AND FREEZE MEAT
6. TAKE PREGNANCY PROFILE PICS (actually, Toby did that.)

The kitchen was by far the biggest task but I'm so happy to say that every cupboard (except for under the sink) and nook and cranny is organized and has it's own proper place. This really takes a load off my mind. I'm looking forward to doing lots of cooking and baking now that I have such an orderly kitchen. I splurged this evening and rewarded myself with red, cheery, new kitchen rugs. Talk about paradise and pleasure! It definitely was a good prize for the size of task my kitchen was today.

Stay tuned for pictures and more updates!

On Carpenters, Babysitters and Good Intentions

In more ways than one, our home and household items seem to be falling apart lately. Not sure what is going on. It's like there's some kind of disease going around in our walls, roof and interior.

We have a very able bodied carpenter that resides in our home but his schedule is booked into the next year. So, as his own house falls apart more everyday as he leaves for work, he continues to faithfully repair his well paying customer's homes. Mrs. Carpenter has had to make some rearrangements for the time being considering her better half is not able to occupy his position as chief fixer-upper at home.

Several of the following items in the tips section are already my responsibility but I thought I'd include the whole scope of projects needing to be done around here to give the reader the whole perspective.

First off, I'll start with the most urgent agenda:

Our kitchen table has a perpetual disability. More than once, we've had to interrupt our supper time in order to reposition one of the legs. It may get bumped by a toddler's foot or just decide it's too tired to stand on its own anymore. Once a small infant was placed on top of the table in a small bed and suddenly the table decided to fall. Thankfully, there were no injuries. The baby was miraculously caught in midair by her angel aunt.

Despite good intentions, there have never been permanent repairs on the table since then so you can imagine the continued excitement our table brings us. As it begins it's assent to the floor during a meal, a diner will balance the table until Mr. Carpenter brings his lousy little screw driver and a plastic cup assortment of screws, nails and left over window hardware. The jack-of-all-trades-except-for-table-repair, will empty half of the screws on the floor while Landon and Janae snatch the rest and run off with it for further inspection.

A ping and pop will be heard as the stubborn dry wall screw will refuse to enter the oak wood and would rather continue dropping on the floor. Eventually several folks will be coerced into volunteering their time into table repair so that the whole family can resume their dinner.

One person will hold the leg, another will balance the table top and the two of them will keep the toddlers from running and jumping directly on their dad's stomach as he vulnerably lays under the table in an attempt to get the screw to go through the leg into the table frame. It ends up being quite an endeavor for all those involved.

At last, Mr. Carpenter will deem the table "safe" but not totally fixed. Chairs will pull back up to the table, splashes of water from the recent quake will be wiped up and the toddlers will be fastened back into their chairs. Everyone seems to trust the carpenter's semi-repair by the way they fearlessly sit at the table. The evening's event is soon forgotten as we resume our meal.

A few nights later, the scene is repeated. I finally asked Toby the other evening if he thought we should maybe get a new table. He thought that was probably a good idea. But, since we have two tables and only use one on a daily basis, I think it almost seems foolish to replace a table that we really don't need anymore. Still, we continue to grapple with our toppling table instead of replacing it with another one we have or getting a new one.

Stupid, I know. But when this table is the one Toby bought for us before we were even married, it's hard to throw away something of such sentimental value.

I guess we'll just have to continue screwing screws in it or else send it to it's well worth retirement.

Today I finally decided something needed to be done -- I'm sure we're running out of screws by now. I observed the full layout of our house in the living/dining and kitchen area and decided that we could indeed send the kitchen table to it's eternity and put the dining room table in the kitchenette area. Our dining table is mostly used for storage anyway and I thought that maybe if we eliminated that from the living/dining area, we could have a cleaner looking house.

So, here's tip #1:

• Eliminate any unnecessary clutter traps: furniture, tables, baskets, chairs and kitchen cupboards if necessary

For tip #2, I found this out today:

• If you want to make your kitchen feel new, clean out the fridge.

Tip #3 only works if you have an open floor plan:

• If your living room can only be arranged one way and you're tired of shuffling your furniture around in hopes of finding a new niche for one of the items, retire your kitchen table, move the dining table into the kitchen and spread your living room out into your dining room.

Tip #4 is difficult for me because I know how much this might step on toes for my local carpenter:

• If your son's sock drawer continually leaves the bottom of the drawer in the dresser every time you pull the drawer out and all the socks fall through the gap onto the floor and the drawer isn't getting repaired by a professional (ie. husband), get a new dresser. I haven't tried this tip yet but I'm sure it would work.

Tip #5:

• When you leave to run errands, leave specific instructions with your children's babysitter (ie. their dad) that the wallpaper is not allowed to come off the bedroom walls. Suggest checking on the children every 2 minutes in order to eliminate the inconvenient destruction. Remind your babysitter that wallpaper peels fast even if the kids are being checked on every 15 minutes.

For tip #6, I would have to recommend this:

• If you notice that you're suddenly putting "underwear" and "socks" and "clothes" on your shopping list, do laundry. You may be able to save a little bit of money on your yearly clothing budget.

Unfortunately, I know tip #7 too well:

• If your children suddenly look like they're coming down with chicken pox, do not be alarmed. Instead, thoroughly wash all their bedding, vacuum their rooms very well and wipe straight tea tree oil all over their bodies. Then, bomb your house for fleas and leave for two hours. In three weeks, repeat the entire process. And the next three weeks, repeat. Repeat that several times for several months. If your fleas disappear, let me know how long it took so that I can have an idea how long we're in for this.

And finally, I wish I would've known tip #8 before it was too late:

• NEVER ever buy a house that has fleas in it. You can eliminate tip #7 if you follow this tip's advice.

Other than a leaky roof, broken windows and a rotting deck, we should have a pretty good handle on our household upkeep and repairs. By this spring, we are talking of getting another fixer-upper in the form of an old house (not a double wide like we currently have) so are enjoying the minimal repair work we have now.

For now, I need to get back to that kitchen table before somebody crashes it on their toes.